


Quit Flying Solo

by Aynde, Twin_Kitten



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Biting, Complete, Dom/sub, Dominant Ben Solo, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Gentle Kissing, Kissing, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Licking, M/M, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Smuggler Ben Solo, Smuggler Kylo Ren, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-06 13:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13411893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aynde/pseuds/Aynde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twin_Kitten/pseuds/Twin_Kitten
Summary: Han Solo wasn't the most diligent of fathers. But there were some things even their difficult relationship couldn’t erase. Chewie was family. The Millennium Falcon was home.Even if Ben could count on two hands the number of times he'd stayed in it, or couldn’t count the innumerable times his father had left him behind in it. There was a sense of Legacy and the Falcon was his inheritance.Who would have ever guessed Kylo Ren would defect from the First Order just to be a smuggler.From the prompt/unfinished story called “Stop Flying Solo” by Aynde





	1. Parts of the Past

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Stop Flying Solo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330239) by [Aynde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aynde/pseuds/Aynde). 



> Hi there! I saw this prompt/unfinished story called “Stop Flying Solo” by Aynde and I really loved it. In the notes on the story, s/he gave permission for someone to rewrite/co-write the story or continuation, and I decided to take them up on it. I will be slightly editing the first chapter that s/he wrote so that the writing styles mesh up and so I can move things around a bit, and you can read the original by googling it.
> 
> Also, as a note, I am adding a smidge more time between certain events in order to give me wiggle room to play with these characters. Yes, I know the events of TFA and TLJ are all supposed to happen within a few days to a week of each other, but that doesn’t give me much time to make romance happen. It’s intense, and there is zero down time for anyone to catch their breath. I’m also making it seem like Unkar Plutt only recently acquired the Falcon instead of it sitting for years. But otherwise I’m going to try and make everything happen the same.
> 
> There will be adult content/sex/ swearing in this story. I will be incorporating different ReyloHardKink prompts in different chapters as needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a trinket, nothing more than a silly toy. But that didn't stop Kylo from taking off his gloves every once in a while and fingering every groove. It brought peace when all he felt was turmoil. His fist clenched.

He couldn't keep doing this. Snoke would find out and punish him, or make him forget entirely. The strange part was that he didn’t know which would be worse. Kylo Ren had to let go before the choice was taken from him. He had to kill the past or it would... what? Rule him? Destroy him? Could Kylo really destroy the one thing that brought him peace? Could he keep the item that soothed his loneliness but also caused conflict in him?

For all Han Solo’s faults, he loved Ben. He hadn’t been the best at showing it, and maybe hadn’t loved the boy the way he needed, but in his own ways he tried. He was family.

But Kylo still remembered waking up to the crackle of energy, the glow of green light in the dark and the sense of danger. Luke had been family too, and yet Kylo could feel the fear of that night as if he were still a teenager.

No, better to let go. Kylo wouldn't-couldn't face that betrayal again. Someone he loved trying to strike him down. Better to strike first. It would hurt less.

He gripped the miniature Corellian freighter in his hand, clenching hard and gritting his teeth. The toy cracked, followed by the clatter of multiple pieces as they fell to the floor. Unexpectedly stricken, he glanced down, wanting to feel something other than regret. Hoping for satisfaction and renewed purpose.

If there had been any blood left in his face at breaking the last thing Han Solo gave him, it fled on seeing what had been hidden inside. He felt nauseous. 

‘Home’ was written in his father's nearly illegible scratch on the inside of the Falcon. A cloaked binary beacon blinked at him right next to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. It All Comes Back Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Finn meet up with the True Crew of the Falcon, Rey and Ben casually check each other out, and it all comes back to his asshole uncle Luke. Sometimes, Ben really hates the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this chapter were taken from Aynde's "Stop Flying Solo" but has been heavily edited and rewritten by me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Three years later~~~~~~~~~~~

 

     A heavy metallic sound echoed through the Millenium Falcon, and the small group looked around in confusion, Han’s face more worried than the others.

His worries were confirmed when a staticy male voice came over the intercom. “We’ve got a problem.”

     Grumbling, mostly to himself, Han stalked towards the door leading out of the Falcon. "Don't tell me the rathtars got loose." Before Rey or Finn could ask, he took off at a slow jog and they followed, Finn shouting, “Wait, what?! Did you just say rathtars? Hey!”

     As they moved across the hanger bay where the Falcon was now parked, they saw another man tapping at the monitors near the doors. "Kid!" Han called out as they got close, shouldering the younger man aside, "What'd you do this time!"

     "Nothing!" He snapped out with a displeased expression, tossing his hands up with a hint of temper but allowing himself to be pushed out of the way, not seeming to notice the newcomers as he propped his hands on his hips.

     Finn spoke, moving to the side of the monitor to get their attention, his face tight as he scanned their expressions. “You're not hauling rathtars on this freighter, are you?”

The dark haired man looked up as Han chuckled, tapping at the screens. “I’m hauling rathtars.”

     Rey's steps faltered at the aura of power the younger man exuded. It was the same sense of mass that she felt when exploring downed starships, the feeling always making her spine tingle. This man gave her the same feeling, a sliding shiver that worked its way up from her lower back to the base of her skull. She should be afraid, but she somehow wasn’t.

     It didn’t help that he was oddly appealing; strikingly tall with a mix of soft and sharp features. His hair was dark black, a shock against pale skin, scattered with freckles and moles, his nose and ears large and sharp on a somewhat narrow face, but they somehow balanced with the wide deep eyes and his plump mouth. What the man before them lacked in traditional features, he more than made up for with sheer presence.

     His dark eyes flicked to Finn then back to Han, almost dismissively. "This is your fault, Old Man..."

     "My fault!" The old man stomped up to get in the face of the dark haired man. Rey shared an uneasy glance with Finn - and then 'Chewie', who shrugged as if this were a common occurrence. "Could be you, Mr. First Order's Most Wanted!"

     "Woah woah, First Order?!" Finn almost squeaked out, backing up a few steps and looking between them with a wide eyed horror. The Wookie stopped him and grumbled in his ear, but Rey didn't pay attention, her eyes caught on the two in front of her.

     The younger man smirked, before grumbling, "It's the Guavian Death Gang, and last I checked, that’s all you." Then pointing to one of the monitors with a hint of exasperation and… Boredom?

     "Oh great." Han deflated and rolled his eyes. "They must have tracked us from Nantoon."

     "You think?" The other man's voice lowered to a half whisper. "Plan?"

     Han started walking, the rest of them following with a rattle and racket of sound as they moved over loose metal panels. "Gotta get these two out of sight.” He paused, then glanced at the younger man and added, “You too."

     Oddly fascinated by the odd dynamic between the men, Rey tried to focus as they weaved through narrow halls and corridors. "What's a rathtar?"

     Both Han and Finn offered overlapping explanations, but none of it was useful and she was left just as confused and in the dark as before. But speaking caused those dark eyes to cut to her, finally noticing her. Rey felt an off throb of something, like her bones had been slightly pressurized then released, and held his gaze.

     His lips parted, he looked like he was going to speak up too - but then Chewie was opening up a hatch in the floor and the moment broke as he looked down into the access chute.

     "Get below deck and stay there. Don’t even think about taking the Falcon." Han told them brusquely before slapping a hand on the thick shoulder of the dark haired man. "Don’t let them do anything stupid."

     His face tightened with frustration, at being ordered to hide, look after them, or both, but nodded with only a slight grumble. With a quick and precise movement, he crouched and grabbed the edge, swinging his big body into the small space below with an athletic grace.

     "What about BB-8?" Rey asked quickly, there was no way the droid would fit in there. She wasn’t even certain the three of them would fit in the small area.

     Solo shrugged and spoke with a tone of afterthought. "Stays with me, until I get rid of the gang, then you can have him and be on your way."

     Rey glanced down at the droid, her face scrunched with worry and uncertainty, but the little robot beeped reassuringly at her.

     "And the rathtars? Where are they?" Finn asked, only to jump out of his skin when a giant mass slammed into the window pane behind them.

     Han snorted, pointing at the small window casually. "There's one."

     Rey sat on the edge of the hatch her feet dangling into the open hole as she looked up at Han nervously. "What are you going to do?"

     "Same thing I always do." Han smirked, with a cocky shrug, "Talk my way out of it."

     "No, you don't!" The denial echoed through the halls and it took Rey a moment to realize it was said in both basic, by the man beneath her, and Shyriiwook, by Chewie behind her.

     "Yes, I do." Han Solo grunted, pointing accusingly at the darkness below then at the wookie, and Rey suddenly felt uneasy. "Every time."

     The resonant clang of a docking hatch interrupted them, and Rey felt hands on her ankles. She barely had time to look down before she was tugged off her perch and fell. Strong arms and a broad chest caught her with a soft thump, and she looked into the younger man’s face with wide eyes. At this distance, only a few inches as he lowered her, it was clear he was older than she was, despite how Han seemed to treat him like a teen.

     He crouched, ducking to keep from hitting his head on the pipes running along the support beams, and set her down on her feet. They both crouched to their knees as Finn dropped in behind her. He seemed to be very careful about not looking at her too long, but she couldn't look away. She blurted out the first thing she could think of, "I'm Rey."

     "Ah... Ben." The man muttered, glancing down the crawl space, then back up to her eyes again. As the access panel dropped shut with a heavy bang, his face was lit red by the utility lighting though something in his expression said his cheeks would have been flushed even without the lighting. It was probably the situation with the death gang, but Rey couldn’t help but wonder if he was feeling even half of the strange draw she was.

     Finn's voice broke into a whisper, his face in what was becoming a familiar expression of barely repressed panic. "Finn, good to meet you, can we move?"

     Right. Introductions later.

     Voices echoed from above, and Ben's neck craned back to watch through the gaps in the metal. Rey and Finn looked up too, whispering softly. "Can you see them?"

     "No."

     Carefully they crawled through the small space, Rey acutely aware of Ben’s head a few inches behind and to the right of her hip, until they were right under the gang. Ben was focused on the exchange above, while Rey was looking around for some way to get out of this situation.

     Whispering to Finn, who had kept crawling and ended up nearer to her, she pointed at the odd set of switches and fuses. “If I close the blast doors in that corridor, we can trap both gangs…” Without waiting for confirmation, she reached out and pushed. Ben glanced over as she pushed the first one, then lunged across Finn just as she finished with the third one. “No!”

     But it was too late. He glared at Finn as if it were his fault and Rey nearly wanted to shrivel up at the look in his eyes. “Wrong fuses.” His voice was dark and she felt the strange weight again, as if he were somehow taking up more space without even moving. Then he relaxed, exhaling in a slow and measured breath, and waved a hand down the tiny passage.

     Ben grumbled as they moved through the crawlspace, boosting the girl out when the coast was clear, then he and Finn followed. This day had just gone from bad to worse.

 

~~~~~~~~~~A short time later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

     Rey came back to check on them as Han piloted the Falcon onto a flight plan. Finn and Ben had worked together to patch up the Wookie during the escape, Rey taking the co-pilot position since she seemed to know the strange ticks that some junker had added to the ship. It had only been stolen out from under them 7 months ago, and yet somehow, there were all kinds of idiotic equipment added. It would be at least a day until they got to Takodana, so hopefully they would get a hint of rest before the universe exploded again.

     More than rest though, Ben wanted to get a better feel for the girl. Something about her was… wrong and right all at the same time. Since leaving the First Order, he had gotten better at understanding balance. Better at recognizing it. He would never be light enough to be a Jedi, but he wasn’t dark enough to be a Sith either. He was balancing himself, slowly.

     Han didn’t like some of the things Ben did, but he understood that Ben sometimes needed violence and destructive force. So, he channelled his son towards people and places that deserved his dark needs with an odd acceptance. Smuggling was good for that. Han wasn’t perfect, but right now he was better than Leia.

     When Ben was more leveled, he would be able to spend time with his mother. Until then, she made do with a holo-call now and then, but Han relayed most of the messages. Leia didn’t believe in balance the way that Ben needed it, and when he had first come back from the darkside, her hovering and somewhat judgemental presence had nearly made him run within a few days. Saved by his father taking a job on the rim and dragging Ben with him.

     For her it was all darkness and light, and any darkness was too much. But darkness wasn’t inherently evil and light wasn’t inherently good. Life, and a balanced Force, was a shade of grey that Ben was coming to terms with for himself.

     And the girl standing in front of them now, was a shade of grey that he found interesting. Among other things he found interesting about her. He shifted in his seat, tired from helping Finn patch up Chewie and stiff from the comedown of adrenaline.

     "So, uh..." But Finn was the one who broke the silence. "First Order's Most Wanted, huh? W-why's that?"

     Ben was quiet for a moment, then his eyes flicked to the other man with a mix of challenge and resignation. "Defected."

     Rey stared at him incredulously, sinking into one of the seats around the thick metal table. "You were with the First Order?” Han Solo was a smuggler, and it made sense to her that a smuggler wouldn’t care about the moral fiber of the people around him, but… Han Solo was also a war hero against the Empire, which didn’t mesh with the idea of a defected First Order soldier as a member of his crew. “How?" Her voice was a shade too accusatory, as if it were unthinkable.

     Finn winced as if he was physically hit, his eyes darting away in a shame Ben recognized. But then he met her gaze openly with a blank expression he had to force. "It's complicated."

     Her brows furrowed. "But-"

     Finn spoke up, then. "Rey, the First Order... get in your head. Brainwashing. Torture. Once they have you-" His voice was nervous, halting in his thoughts as he filtered what to say and what to keep silent, but met Ben's eyes firmly after a second of internal debate. "It's enough he got away."

     Rey didn't quite know what to say to that. Luckily, she didn’t have to say anything since Han stalked back into the area, checking on Chewie. Then he glanced at Finn and Rey. “Good job.” He nodded at Finn, and in a reluctant voice, muttered, “Thanks, kid.” Then after another awkward pause. “Did a good job, all of you.”

     Ben nearly smirked. He could feel his dad’s odd annoyance at suddenly being in charge of what he thought of as children. He had to stifle a snort of amusement when he caught Han’s floating thought, ‘-not a damn babysitter-’ and arched his eyebrow at his father. Who glared at him.

     Ben stayed silent throughout the whole odd explanation of how and why these unlikely two were on the Millenium Falcon. He was grateful his father glossed over his part in Luke’s decision to become a hermit, and carefully controlled his reactions as he listened. He doubted that Finn was resistance, and judging from the look his father shot him, he didn’t need to use the force to read his mind to make sure.

     He had no doubt Rey was a scavenger; she had a whip thin, scrappy survivor look to her. Her dark eyes hinted to a rougher background than could be conveyed with just that description though, a wary lack of reliance on others. It wasn’t distrust, because there wasn’t any expectation of anyone looking out for her but there also wasn’t a sense of her expecting them to hurt her. There were scavengers and then there were scavengers. He had a feeling she fell into the second category.

It didn’t help his fascination that she was beautiful the way wild animals were. All sun darkened skin, barely restrained hair, and a body that moved confident of its abilities.

     As the story unfolded, he wanted to bang his head on the table. For a long time, Ben had a private theory that Han Solo was his own brand of Force-sensitive. He had the damndest luck, and it was in full effect today.

  
The pretty girl had a map to Luke Skywalker.

  
Of course she did.

  
Fuck.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Too Late

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After following his father’s instructions and settling Finn into the communal crew quarters a few bunks away from Chewie, he tilted his neck from side to side trying to release the tension there. The kid was… high-strung. And though he didn’t outright say it, Finn was very curious to know more about what Ben had done in the First Order. He had an inkling the younger man was a stormtrooper, and he would know that Ben definitely wasn’t.

Scratching a hand across his stomach, planning to catch some sleep before they dropped out of hyperspace, he pushed the button opening the door to his usual quarters.

And nearly swallowed his tongue.

Rey, the pretty scavenger girl, was curled in his bunk in only her under-tunic. The blanket was pulled over her middle, covering her waist and bottom, but her legs were bare and stretched over the fabric as if she had kicked free of it. Thankfully she was asleep and he was able to fumble the controls and the door shut as all the blood left his brain, headed for points south as his mind replayed the scene.

Blinking at the closed steel door, he willed his body back under his control, glancing up and down the hall before adjusting his pants. “Kriff.”

Swallowing tightly, he turned away drawing on anger, and trying not to think of how she looked in his bunk, as he stalked the ship to where he sensed his father tinkering under the console in the cockpit.

“You put her in my bunk?” His voice was a low growl, and Han slid out enough that Ben could see his face, but didn’t look up or divert his gaze from under the tangled console.

Raising an eyebrow, he nodded, his attention on the wires and connectors he was fiddling with. “I learned from your mother… A girl gets a door.” His voice was so matter of fact, and so damn right that Ben didn’t really know how to argue.

Of course she should get the room with a door. He wasn't a monster. The crew area where Chewie and Fin were put was more barracks style, with no privacy, and Han wasn’t the kind of guy who would give up his own bed. So he gave away Ben’s. He wasn’t going to kick her out, but... His chest expanded with a deep breath and he crossed his arms to glare down at his father’s legs. “You could have warned me. I walked in on her.”

That got his father’s attention. Han slowly stopped moving, looking up at his son’s face for a long moment and Ben became very aware of his own expression. “Ben…” He rubbed an aging hand over his weathered face. “Don’t…”

Growling, a throwback to his old self, Ben dropped into the co-pilot’s chair with barely restrained temper. “Cut the shit, it wasn’t like that.”

Han, never an effusive talker, nodded with a grunt. “Keep it that way. She’s not for you.”

One of the many frictions of growing up in the Organa-Solo house had been Han’s habit of assuming everyone around him knew what he was talking about. ‘Not for him,’ what did that mean? Even with the ability to skim thoughts from minds, Ben couldn’t always follow his father’s logic. “What?”

Han sat up, levering himself into the captain’s chair with a few sounds showing his age. He hesitated, and Ben had a feeling this conversation was not going to go where he thought. “I love your mother. Very very much.”

His eyes widened in shock as his father kept talking. Han didn’t do emotions, overt gestures, or coddling. He sure as hell didn’t talk about his relationship with Ben’s mother.

“But, honestly... If we hadn’t been chucked together in the war, we never would have ended up together.” Han rubbed his chin with a broad palm. “Shared trauma and all that shit.” There it was. The Han Solo that Ben knew.

“We are going to deliver them and that’s it. Don’t get involved,” Han pointed a finger at Ben accusingly and he rolled his eyes at his father’s heavy handed tendencies, “or you will end up like me and your mom. Can’t be together, can’t be apart.”

And that really said everything about Ben’s childhood.

Ben mimed disgust, hoping that was the end of this strange discussion. “Please stop or I’ll be the one traumatized.”

Han sighed, gazing through the front screens. “Kid, you ever tell her about this, I’ll chuck you out an airlock.”

Ben did snort now, “I’d like to see you try, Old Man.” After a few long moments of silence staring at the stretching stars, Ben huffed a breath and got up. “I’m gonna clean up.”

He wiped himself down in the lounge, and dressed in some spare clothes he pulled from his backpack, then sprawled out on the too small bench seat around the holo-board. Shifting around until his back was supported enough for him to relax, he arranged his legs and closed his eyes. He could have gone back down to the crew quarters with Finn and Chewie, but the idea of trying to sleep while Finn stared at him was not appealing. He’d take the cramped couch.

 

~~~~~~~~~A few hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Rey stretched. Han had directed her to a small room, telling her in his short clipped words to get some rest. So she had. A quick wash in the fresher had been a new experience, with several mistakes, but she should be able to manage it from now on. Then she had tumbled into the bunk.

It took a while to fall asleep. The room was unfamiliar, the whole ship making tiny noises that she wasn’t used to and made her slightly nervous. The bed was a little too soft, especially compared to the metal plating she slept on when she was on Jakku. It smelled too. Musty and dusty, with a undercurrent of another person. It had clearly not been washed since before Plutt got a hold of it, something she tried not to think about.

When she finally got to sleep she jolted awake a few times, thinking she had heard something only for it to be nothing or out of habit. So when she half woke, thinking she had heard the door slide open, she didn’t bother looking.

It was several hour later that the intercom buzzed to life with Han’s voice, telling her and the rest of the ship to come up to the lounge. She rubbed her eyes blearily, glad she had cleaned up before laying down since it made getting dressed quick and easy.

When she hurried into the lounge where Chewie and Han were waiting, she didn’t see Ben until she nearly sat on him. He was sprawled on the bench, his big body barely fit, legs splayed with one over the back of the seat, the other flopped over the edge with his heel resting on the ground. She couldn’t see his face, his arm was thrown over, eyes hidden in the crook of his elbow, sleeping judging by the soft breaths huffing out of his mouth.

She turned to ask, but Han cut her off with a wave of his hand. “He’ll wake up when the other kid gets here.”

Her face pinched, glancing between the three, once again wondering at the odd crew, before shrugging. Leaning a hip against the solid back of the seat, avoiding the calf that dangled near her thigh as she casually looked him over, unaware that Han was watching her out the corner of his eye.

He looked like he had cleaned up a bit, wearing similar clothes as before, but clean. Clean-ish. His pants were that impossible to stain, unwrinkling fabric that she had seen pilots wear, with a long stripe down the outside. His shirt on the other hand had clearly been pulled from a bag or something; it was a fabric similar to hers, wrinkled, and there was an old stain on the thick collar. The rest of him was the same; a belt slung low on his hips, a blaster strapped to his thigh, a strange object she didn’t recognize looped next to it, and black boots with tight laces.

Finn thundered in just then, his boots thudding and jacket flapping, as he practically shouted. “What’s going on?”

Ben did not react well, sitting up in a jolt of movement and banging his forehead and nose against the table with a solid thud that made Rey wince. He groaned, while Han laughed and Finn looked sheepish.

He glared at Han, flicking one of his hands in a rude gesture while muttering profanities, the other hand checking his face and the line of his nose. This only made the older man laugh harder. Rey winced sympathetically as she slid into the seat next to Ben, Finn settling in a loose chair. “You okay?”

Ben glanced at her, then his demeanor changed, as if he hadn’t known she was there until just that moment. Stiffening, he pulled his hand away from his face exposing the bright red mark on his forehead and spreading flush on his nose and cheeks. His eyes glared at Han with a hint more venom and the older man’s laugh settled to an amused tone as he spoke, while Ben settled back into the seat.

“You want my help? You're getting it.” He motioned to the cockpit, “While you were resting, I commed an old friend. She'll get your droid home.” Ben shoved out of the seat without a word, his long legs eating up the distance until he dropped into the co-pilot’s chair. Rey couldn’t help feeling a hint of possessiveness over the spot, but simply followed as Han sat in the pilot’s chair.

“This is our stop.”

Rey and Finn stood behind the two chairs as the men moved in a practiced dance, each one knowing what to do without words. Soon the ship dropped out of lightspeed and the planet came into focus.

Her eyes widened, staring at the lush surface with unrestrained awe, her voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”

Ben felt her words like a thump in his chest, and he looked over his shoulder. She was completely focused on the view, vulnerable as she took it all in and he had a strange urge to hold her. Cleaned up of the dirt and sweat from before, she practically glowed, and his eyes skated over her cheekbones, lips, and neck.

Pulling his eyes away from her and back to the ship, he scratched his jaw before glancing at his father. Han had a look of resignation, an annoyed acceptance, but when he caught Ben’s gaze his eyes were still full of warning. If Ben knew anything about his father, that statement had tugged at him, and Rey wouldn’t be leaving the crew unless she wanted to.

Once they landed, she bolted for the opening ramp. When Ben and Han got up to go the the weapon’s locker, he caught sight of her, just standing looking over the lake and beyond. He sighed, gripping a blast rifle and handing it to Finn, who was suddenly lurking right behind them.

“Hey, Solo,” He glanced around, “I'm not sure what we're walking into here-”

Ben huffed with an arched eyebrow. “Did you just call him Solo?”

Finn looked between them, taking in Han’s disbelieving expression and Ben’s amused one, and continued on. “Sorry. Han-- Mr. Solo. You should know, I'm a big deal in the Resistance. Which puts a real target on my back. Are there any conspirators here? First Order sympathizers?”

Han and Ben shared a long suffering glance, strapping their weapons on more securely, before Han sighed. “ Listen big deal, you've got another problem. Women always figure out the truth.”

Finn’s face tightened, his mouth moving as if to deny it, and Ben slapped him on the shoulder, his smaller body swaying slightly under the strength. “Always.”

Finn watched the two of them move off the ship, the cocky sway of their hips oddly similar, a looseness to their movements that belied a lazy athleticism, though Han’s was a bit more heavy with age.

They split without a word as he watched, Han heading to Rey while Ben took off to chat with Chewie at the side of the Falcon. 

A few minutes later, Finn moved down the ramp and joined them as they headed for the castle, Han and Ben leading the way. Han gave them a little pep talk, but there really was no preparation for a place like Maz’s cantina. Ben helped nudge them along, keeping them from staring too long or hard at anything, as they followed Han and the small alien to a table.

Rey slid into one side of a double seat and Ben dropped into the other side, his arm stretching casually across the back of the seat behind her and his legs splaying, sending a subtly protective and dominant message to the other patrons. Something both Maz and his father took note of but didn’t mention.

When Maz called for food, he nudged it towards Rey, letting her have the whole plate as Han and Maz talked. When Finn reached out like he wanted to take one of the food pods, Ben glared at him until he pulled away. He listened casually, keeping his eyes scanning over the room until Maz clambered up n the table, staring into Finn’s eyes. When Finn spoke about the First Order, about wanting to run, he looked at Ben as if for understanding.

And he did.

He had run and was still running from the First Order. But this would put them straight in the sights of their armies, in a position to be taken under their control again. Ben couldn’t blame Finn for not wanting to go back, for being afraid. Hell, he was one of the strongest Force-users in the galaxy, had been out from under the First Order’s control for a few years, and Ben still felt a sliver of hesitation to get involved.

But Ben was in it now and wasn’t running this time. Finn wasn’t there yet.

When Rey stood from the table, following Finn, Ben looked to Han expectantly. If Rey was going to be a member of their crew, Han would have to get used to Ben protecting her. He paused, then tipped his chin up in a grudging permission. Ben stood, joining the two as they whispered furiously, just as Finn admitted that he was a stormtrooper. He noticed Ben, and flushed with embarrassment, but continued on with his impassioned plea.

When he talked about how Rey looked at him, Ben felt a flare of jealousy, and unreasonable pleasure when she refused to go with him. But he hated the look on her face, as if she had hoped her friend would stick around but was also not that surprised he hadn’t. Disappointment and abandonment and easy acceptance, which told Ben she was used to it.

He felt a sudden urge to wrap an arm around her. She didn’t need Finn, she had Ben. He would look after her. Not that she needed it, she had been capable as far as he had seen. But he still wanted to tuck her under him and make her feel better. The dominant male instincts inside him knew of only one way to do that.

Uncomfortable with the direction of his thoughts, he sighed, reaching for the easiest explanation. ‘I need to get laid.’ 

When she turned, as if hearing something, he focused on their surroundings again, not hearing whatever she was. As if in a trance, she turned away from him, moving down the stairs into the basement. She didn’t respond when he touched her shoulder, or when he called her name. He reached out with his mind and found the pull.

It nearly sucked him in too, and he jerked free as she descended. Torn for a moment, but needing backup, he motioned to BB-8. “Hey, keep an eye on her, something’s wrong.” He shoved through the bar back to the table. “Maz!”

By the time he explained and hustled the little alien into the under caverns of the castle, Rey was in the throes of a vision, just barely coming out of it. Ben caught her before she hit the floor, a pit in his stomach as he saw the tears on her cheeks.

Maz took Rey’s hand as Ben helped prop her up. “Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth. Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back. But... there's someone who will.”

Ben looked down at Rey, her face entranced by what the other woman was saying. “The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. It connects us all. Close your eyes. Feel it.”

Maz lifted the hilt of the lightsaber, offering it to the girl as she stood. “The light. It's always been there. It will guide you. The saber. Take it.”

Rey pulled away, refusing, scared and overwhelmed and she bolted away before Ben could stop her. He glared down at the little alien, “Maz, why the kriff do you have Luke’s lightsaber?!” Then he took off, following Rey.

Ben got outside, looking up at what Han was staring at, his gut churning as planets exploded in streaks of red. Finn ran up, spilling information and Ben nodded mutely. He already knew what it was. It had been in construction when he had been Kylo Ren.

“Where’s Rey?”

Ben glanced around. He had thought she was out here with them, but she wasn’t. He took off, but blaster fire filled the air. He was too late.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. That kind of IS how the Force works...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets taken, revelations about Ben, escape time, Ben calls Rey names.... #Ben is a jealous flirt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finn stood in shock as Han waved him off, seeming unconcerned by Rey being taken. “Ben… Ben, he took her… Teyigh Ren... you gotta do something.”

 

Ben nodded, the name opening a wound inside him, and squeezed the other man’s shoulder. “We’ll get her back. Come on.” He didn’t bother asking how Finn knew the man’s name; if Finn had been a stormtrooper on the StarKiller, he would have been under Teyigh’s command.

 

They approached just as Han and Leia separated. Ben rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, meeting his mother’s eyes as C3PO chattered at him. After a few moments, he slapped the droid on the arm and ushered him off with BB-8. Finally he stepped up next his his father and looked down at her. She looked so small; had he really grown that much since he left home 15 years ago? The few days he had spent with her since were like nothing.

 

“Hey.”

 

Leia’s face opened, clearly pleased, and Finn watched in shock as she folded the much taller man into her arms, him bending slightly. “Ben.” She sort of… breathed him in, her eyes closing as her arms held him tight, her face soft and smiling.

 

Finn’s hands moved in helpless confusion, lifting then falling back to his sides as he panted. “What the-” Then he sort of gave up on the thought, too overwhelmed.

 

There were no explanations or time for introductions. The rebels evacuated as needed, everyone dispersing to different ships. It wasn’t until after he reunited with Poe, all hugs and hot smells of leather and jet fuel, and he brought Finn to the command room that he really got an idea of what was going on.

 

Poe had to explain it twice.

 

Ben was Han Solo and General Organa’s son.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Crouched behind a building, snow flurrying around them as the three humans and one wookie planned their entrance. Finn outlined the base, pointing. “The flooding tunnels are over that ridge. We'll get in that way.”   
  


Han stared at Finn, an uneasy doubt filling his face. Someone who knew how to shut down shields wouldn’t know about flooding tunnels. “What was your job when you were based here?   
  


Finn hesitated, looking from Ben to Han. “Sanitation.   
  


The dark haired man winced, already predicting his father’s outrage, and he wasn’t disappointed. “Sanitation? Then how do you know how to disable the shields?” Han at least muted his shout to a raspy whisper.   
  


“I don't. I'm just here to get Rey.”

 

Ben groaned. Though he appreciated Finn’s rush to save Rey, and Ben would have come to save her either way, it would have been nice to know this going in so they could have prepared.   
  


Han was less appreciative, his voice rising. “People are counting on us! The galaxy is counting on us!”   
  


Finn gave a half shrug, looking at Ben for support. “Solo… Solos... we'll figure it out!” He paused, hope in his face and voice. “We'll use the Force!”

 

Ben twitched, hating this day more and more as his father whisper yelled at the other man. “That's not how the Force works!” Ben shook his head, giving up on the argument, slapping his father on the shoulder. “Come on, Old Man. Don’t pretend you aren’t loving this.” Though he was trying for a joking tone, there was a new thread of tension in his voice that didn’t quite make it.

 

He took off, Finn following as Chewie grumbled about being cold and Han argued with him. Just as they reached the entrance Finn planned to use, Han grabbed his son’s jacket, letting the dark skinned panic-attack move ahead of them. “You gonna be okay?”

 

Ben swallowed, looking into his father’s eyes without a hint of the hesitation he was feeling. “You’ll pull me back.”

 

Han chuckled, ignoring the confused look Finn was giving them. “Damn right, I will.” But as soon as both of them turned away, Ben felt the suppressed doubt fill his body. The call of the darkside was strong, and in this situation he didn’t have a lot of control.

 

Sneaking through the corridors, Ben flexed his powers slightly, just enough to make them hard to see if someone wasn’t looking directly at them. Too much would draw attention from other Force-users. Soon they had Phasma yanked into a control room, and Ben was careful to stay in the shadows, even when Finn’s behavior made him want to chuckle.

 

It wasn’t until the female stormtrooper refused to comply that he finally stepped out where she would see him clearly. Her modulated voice was surprised, showing just how well he had hidden himself. “Kylo Ren.”

 

Finn gasped, his eyes wide and frightened now as he looked at him, but Ben ignored it, holding his hand up and letting his power move through her mind. “You will override the shields.” Phasma was clearly fighting his control, but as someone who wasn’t force-sensitive and was regularly mind controlled, it was the work of a few moments.

 

After the shields dropped, Ben knocked her out, the four of them shoving her in a trash compactor chute thanks to his father’s inability to let go of a grudge. “You ever going to let that go?” Han just lifted the corner of his mouth and shook his head in a smirking denial. If Ben had heard that story once, he had heard it a thousand times growing up. Finn grabbed Ben’s jacket sleeve, a dark and furious look on his face. “You’re Kylo Ren?”

 

Ben debated lying, saw the conflict on Finn’s face and knew he could make the other man believe him, but then nodded. “Yes.” Finn started to ask more, anger and confusion filling his face, but Ben shook off his hand before stalking the halls. “Later. We gotta get Rey.” That reminder was probably the only thing that could make Finn let it go for now.

 

Gratified that he was right when the other man started following, they jogged around a corner and found the door to the brig. Finn started whispering out ideas as the other three looked around or shot down his ideas until Ben felt Rey. She felt… different.

 

Not just different from others but, different from her self. Though he had only used the Force to sense her briefly, there was something in her now. Something powerful that called to his inner strength, like two sides of a magnet. He could feel where she was, and it wasn’t past these doors.

 

Finn was still rambling as he thought of a plan. “We'll use the charges to blow that blast door. I'll go in and draw fire, but I'm gonna need cover.”

 

Ben shook his head. “She’s not in there.” He turned slightly, his eyes itching like they could find her even through miles of steel and glass. Only to settle on her through a window as she climbed the other side of a deep trench. Nudging his father, he twitched his shoulder and watched Han’s blue eyes follow. Chewie grunted in approval.

 

“What?” Finn’s eyebrows narrowed and he growled. “What are you talking about? That’s where they  _ keep  _ prisoners.” Han jerked his chin, but Finn kept talking. “Trust me, I’ll go in and get Rey, but the troopers'll be on our tail. You’ll have to be ready-”

 

Finally frustrated with Han’s head movements and the smirk on Ben’s face. Finn snapped, “Is something funny, why are you doing that? Why are you doing” He jerked his chin imitating Han, “this? I'm trying to come up with a plan.”

 

Ben grabbed Finn’s shoulder, turning him to look through the window where Rey was climbing the side of the maintenance pods. He can practically feel the relief that washes through Finn and slaps his back, taking off at a jog.

 

Ben was able to guide them into closer and closer proximity to her, until they literally ran into her. She nearly shot Ben’s head off when they collided, but thankfully didn’t.

 

Steadying her, still holding his blaster at the ready, Ben circled around to guard her back and herd the group towards the exit. “You alright?”

 

Rey nodded, “Yea…” She was clearly stressed, sweat beading her skin and eyes wide, and the vibrations in the Force told him she was scared and running on adrenaline, but she didn’t seem to have any injuries. Han nodded, taking her words at face value. “Good.”

 

“What happened?” Finn grabbed her shoulders, something that made Ben’s mouth tighten and eyes narrow, looking her over more obviously than Ben had. “Did he hurt you?”

 

Rey’s face just lit up, finally getting over the surprise as joy trickled through the Force, not responding to his question. “Finn… What are you doing here?”

 

Ben nudged her trying to move them closer to the transport that Han had hacked open. “We came back for you.”

 

She glanced at Ben, then to Finn, and Chewie made a rolling guttural sound. Ben glared at him as Rey turned starry eyes on the former stormtrooper. Finn only looked confused. “What?”

 

“He says.. It was your idea.” Rey’s eyes filled, and before Finn could do more than smile awkwardly, she wrapped him in a hug, and his arms went around her a second later. His hand settled on the base of her neck as they held onto each other, murmuring questions and awed explanations.

 

“Escape now.” Ben grumbled, annoyed, “Hug later.”

 

Their eyes met, and Rey blushed up at Ben, her gaze flickering between them, then she started moving. As they stepped into the transport, he leaned close to her ear. “I’ll get my hug later, Starshine.” His breath washed over the delicate skin, his deep rumble sending shivers down her spine.

 

Rey gasped, her head whipped around to stare at him, his lips smirking and looking straight ahead as the doors whooshed shut.

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the formatting not being consistent from one chapter to the next, but AO3 doesn't really like how I copy and paste from google docs... As long as it is readable, I'll keep trying to figure it out, but I hope it isn't too bad.


	5. Blurring the lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben, Rey, Finn, Han, and Chewie make their escape off planet... With only a few complications and only one appearance of Kylo Ren.
> 
> Sexual tension? Where? Who put that there?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ben had just finished setting the last of the charges on the lower floor when he felt and heard Teyigh Ren. His former friend stalked the oscillator, sensing Ben. Teyigh had been second in command when Kylo had been Master of Ren, so it was no surprise that he had taken the mantle of command when Ben defected.

 

They had been close in Snoke’s training. But not close enough that Ben had been willing to try taking him with him when he left. Teyigh didn’t feel conflict. Ben might have been stamped with darkness, but Teyigh was filled with it.

 

His voice slithered through his ears and over his brain when his old friend spoke. If darkness was capable of having friends. “Come out Kylo. I know you are there.” Gritting his teeth, Ben handed his blaster to Han.

 

Han was shaking his head, but old habits made him take the gun even as he protested. “Don’t do it, Kid.”

 

But Ben shook his head too. “You have to get Rey out of here.” In the logical part of Ben’s brain, he was rationalising his pull to the darkness. He would distract Teyigh while the others escaped.

 

It wasn’t because he missed the vibration of a lightsaber in his hand. He didn’t miss the feeling of easy power when he used the darkness. Ben wasn’t ruled by blood lust and he didn’t delight in the feeling of dominance when he pulled the life from another person. Ben wasn’t like that.

 

But Kylo Ren was. And the line between Ben and Kylo was getting very very blurry.

 

Han’s face turned furious, trying to use any fatherly influence he still had. “I don’t give a kriff. You’re my son.” Han grabbed Ben’s forearm, pulling him away from the new Master of the Knights of Ren. “This is when I pull you back.”

 

Ben had been using his powers throughout the infiltration, and both he and his father could sense the change in him. The way he carried himself. The way he responded to things. He began using more and more of the Force, which only made him slide that much closer to the darkness. He was straddling the fence and every move risked falling on either side. They had never tempted Ben with this much dark power, and Ben didn’t have a strong enough anchor in the light. He would fall out of the hard fought and delicate balance that he had created.

 

But Ben shook off his father’s hand, unable to resist the call of darkness and power and battle, stepping into the light just as Rey and Finn appeared above. “I’m here, Teyigh.”

 

The man turned, stalking slowly towards Kylo Ren across the narrow bridge, Ben moving towards him with the same slow intensity. Kylo was reaching for his lightsaber, even had it palmed, when a blaster bolt hit his old friend.

 

Feeling familiar anger well up and spill over, Kylo roared, turning to find whoever had done it. Who had stolen his chance for blood. His back bowed as he scanned them, the need for battle and death riding him hard.

 

The scavenger girl. His eyes zeroed on her, feeling the reverberation of her blaster through the force. It was her.

 

But as soon as their eyes met, the heat of his anger faded. Ben came back into his body, back into his balance, with a thump hard enough to shake his soul.

 

And he ran.

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Chewbacca was the faster of them, even at his age, so he left them behind and ran ahead to get the Falcon running. Finn and Rey were at the front of the group, half leading them through the snow and half running desperately. Han was falling behind, even with Ben pushing energy into his body to help. It drained him, but he would be fine after he rested. Han wouldn’t make the escape without his help.

 

But the Force wasn’t with them tonight.

 

Teyigh Ren came out of the shadow of the trees, his bright red lightsaber flaring to life as they saw him.

 

Rey’s scream had Ben running in an instant. He left his father behind and when he glanced back, Han was waving him to go. Finn was fighting with Teyigh, and despite being drawn to the violence, Ben scanned the area for Rey.

 

She lay in a pile of snow, her skin shockingly cold and pale, and he rushed to check her. Just as he stood, Teyigh disarmed Finn. The blue lightsaber flicked off and spun through the air, flipping end over end, and Finn made the mistake of following it with his eyes. Teyigh ripped open his back with the red blade of energy.

 

Rey was coming to, slowly, but she would be no match for Teyigh, even with the deep well of Force power inside her. He could feel her so strongly now. But Ben would never let that battle happen while he still stood.

 

So for the second time today, he palmed his lightsaber. But this time he was filled with calm. It was maybe 55% darkness, not true balance, but it was good enough.

 

Rey came to, waking up slowly and with blurry eyes as she watched two bright red energy swords clash, lighting up the woods around them. Something about the battle filled her with energy, and she stood quickly.

 

She was confused, filled with questions, but stayed to the shadows, searching for a weapon in the snow as the two men clashed. There was swirling darkness in the air between them, a heavy anger and pain that she could feel with a sense she had never known. Like suddenly being able to hear after a lifetime of silence. An almost overwhelming and painful awareness.

 

But Ben’s balance was no match for Teyigh’s absolute darkness. The Knight of Ren’s blade sliced up when Ben glanced to check on Rey, cutting over the muscle of his shoulder, part of his neck, and bisecting the right side of his face from jaw to brow.

 

Teyigh hand lifted, reaching with the Force for the lightsaber lost in the snow. “How you have fallen,” His voice has soft and mocking, but without a hint of laughter. “Kylo Ren, made weak by the light.” His masked face dropped to menace, Ben on his back in the snow, gasping. “I will kill you with your grandfather’s lightsaber.” His tone turned slightly lighter, but still venomous. “What do you think of that, Kylo?”

 

But when the hilt of the energy blade shot through the air, it passed Teyigh as if he weren't even there. It slapped into Rey’s hand with a strength that stung the skin. Ben grunted, trying to keep Teyigh’s attention on him as he struggled to stand, but the dark Knight was focused on Rey.

 

The blue light clashed with the red now, and Ben took a deep breath, his lightsaber burning to life again, lunging into the fray. Rey was untrained, Ben injured and his connection to the Force tenuous. Battling Teyigh was hard, even with the other man deeply injured, leaving blood on the snow.

 

Rey gave a good fight, but was taking too many injuries. “Use the Force Rey!” Ben’s rough breathmade her pause and he grunted as he defended her from heavy strokes. Teyigh could feel her finding the Force and the battle would be over once she did. The two of them would be too much for him. So he attacked more viciously, driving them back to the edge of a cliff.

 

But it was too late. Ben felt the change in the air when Rey tapped into the energy. When he looked at her he could nearly see the light shining inside her. The battle turned, and the to of them traded turns, stroking and stepping forward, pushing Teyigh until they could find an opening, spilling more of his blood with every strike.

 

The ground split just as Ben’s lightsaber sliced through his enemy’s thigh. The Ren Knight fell back, and Rey grabbed Ben’s arm as his foot slipped, nearly falling into the deep as the giant star base began to fall apart. They scrambled back, and for a few long moments, stared at the man they had fought. But then Rey turned and bolted through the trees and Ben shook himself.

 

Giving a mocking half salute, with his middle finger, he smirked. Then followed her.

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chewie carried the unconscious Finn while Ben propped up his father. Han was grinning despite his limp, out of breath and with a sore knee, and Ben rolled his eyes. “Could you at least pretend that you don’t love this?” His father was forever reckless and loved trouble, despite his protests that he liked a calm and easy life.

 

Han chuckled. “Kid, I haven’t felt this alive in years.” He slapped his son on the shoulder, “Quit trying to ruin it.” Then he limped away, heading for the cockpit with a peppiness to his broken gait that Ben hadn’t seen in forever. Chewie was settling Finn in what passed as a medical area, and the remaining two had no idea what to do next.

 

Ben and Rey stood, breathing heavily as the moment of stillness wrapped around them. After the chaos of the last day, even though they still had to make their escape, it felt odd.

 

When Ben looked down at Rey he felt his chest go tight and his head go fuzzy, his gut filled with mag-moths, their wings fluttering against him. But before he could act on it, before he even knew what he wanted to do about it, the starship jolted, jumping into lightspeed.

 

Rey had felt it too, a dull flush covering her body even after all the activity they had been through. She was remembering his smirk and his promise to get a hug when the ship jumped. With a stuttering gasp, she rushed off. “I’m going to check on Finn.”

 

Ben huffed but nodded. The kid had done alright, and didn’t deserve to be laid up close to death, even if he hated the odd connection Rey and Finn had. “I’ll be with the Old Man.” Then, they scurried away from each other, with a sort of purposeful ignoring of the moment that just passed between them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Touch her Ben... DO IT!... Damn it Ben.... Smoosh your faces together.


	6. Kriff off, Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets back to the resistance base. Rey doesn't really know what flirting is, and Ben flirts some more. Oh, yeah... and he kisses her.
> 
> #kissing #DomBen make an appearance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the short hyper-jump home, during which Ben sloppily patched up his face in the cockpit with a mediocre first-aid kit, they all spilled into the resistance base in a mix of celebration of victory and mourning for losses. Rey followed Finn to the medical unit and Leia took charge of Han despite his protests that ‘he didn’t need smothering.’ Ben traded commiserating looks with his father before grinning and giving his mother a thumbs up when Han looked away, but then was left somewhat alone.

 

Though he had been free of the First Order for a few years now, he hadn’t actively been part of the Resistance, though he and Han smuggled for them regularly. It seemed like Rey and Finn had more friends here than he did. If pressed, he would have said he was fine with that, but as he stood alone and people rushed around him with jobs to do and people to hug, he felt a flicker of remembered sorrow. Of being outside looking in.

 

But he pushed it away with a breath, deciding instead to be helpful. Pasting a smirking smile on his face, he went about getting a crew to fix the Falcon and cleaning up the quarters. Han would be with Leia on base, Finn would be in medical for a while, and Chewie tended to find his own place to sleep when not on the Falcon. But he and Rey would need a place to hunker down and get some rest and he doubted the base had a lot of spare beds or private rooms. The Falcon would be better than sleeping in barracks or on the floor.

 

It had nothing to do with him and Rey being essentially alone on the ship.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After making sure all the bunks were cleaned and had fresh bedding, not just his and Rey’s because who knew what the resistance would need from the Millenium Falcon, and setting the mechanics to removing the junk Plutt had put on and repairing any damage, Ben went in search of the Med-unit. He found it after a few directions from others, and peered in.

 

Finn was in stasis under a bio-bubble, and a man Ben didn’t recognize was slouched in a nearby chair nearly asleep as he watched over the former stormtrooper. He sat up, rubbing his face with clear signs of exhaustion, and stuck out his hand without getting up. “Hey, Poe Dameron.”

 

“Ben Solo.” Ben took it, giving it a firm shake and an acknowledging tilt of his head at the look in Poes eyes, clearly already knowing who the tall dark haired man was. “How’s he doing?”

 

Poe’s eyes were caring when he looked at the unconscious man. “Kriff if I know. Doc says he had a close call, but he’ll be alright.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Needs time.” Then he looked up at the taller man. “Heard what you did. Finn saved my life and from what I hear, you and that girl Rey saved his. Thanks.”

 

Ben shrugged, uncomfortable at the clear admiration Poe had for Finn and, seemingly by proxy, for him and Rey. He was about to dismiss the other man’s thanks when Poe spoke again. “Finn’s my friend so… I owe you one.”

 

Poe’s tone allowed no argument, and Ben swallowed his words that he would have done it for anyone. He wondered what it must be like to make such fast and easy friends. From the story he had been told, Finn and Poe had spent less than 3 hours together, and yet they both acted like they had been lifelong friends. Finn and Rey were much the same, with an easy affection and odd willingness to do anything to save each other. Maybe Han was right about ‘Shared trauma and all that shit.’

 

Hooking a hand in his belt, Ben scratched his ear. “You know where Rey went?”

 

Poe shook his head. “Sorry, she wasn’t here when I came in.” As Ben started to walk away with a nod, he added, “I’d like to meet her though. Send her my way when you find her!”

 

Ben stalked the halls, asking around. A nurse forced him into a med unit to fix his face properly with a skin patch and some healing accelerator cream, and he barely escaped being knocked out for surgery. But he finally found her in the mechanics bay, gathering parts and tools.

 

“What’s all this?”

 

She jumped, turning with a tool half raised in surprise and wary defence. When she saw it was him, she relaxed, dropping the tool back into it’s spot on the workbench. “I was going to try and fix the gunner on the Falcon. It locked up when we-”

 

He cut her off with a tilt of his head towards the ship parked on the wide pad outside. “I got a crew on it already. Have you eaten?”

 

Blinking, she bit her lip. “Oh.. ah, no, I checked on Finn and then I wanted to fix a few things.” Something in her mannerisms told him there was more to it, but he didn’t pry, assuming it was related to her lifestyle on Jakku. She was odd about food, and he couldn’t blame her.

 

But he wasn’t going to let her starve herself for lack of being able to ask. “Come on. I found the mess when I checked on Finn.” Hooking his hand around the strap of her satchel, he lifted it from her shoulders, setting it on the bench next to the discarded tool. He gripped her elbow, planning to guide her to the food, but he hesitated. When he looked down at her, he realized how close he was, fully in her personal space and her eyes were looking up at him, wide with surprise and something else.

 

Ben had never considered himself attractive. His ears and nose were too big, his face long like the muzzle of a groth-steed, too pale skin and too dark hair. But he did alright using a mix of his father’s swagger and his mother’s way with words, and most people seemed to think his looks were unique but not unattractive. But as the nurse had patched him up, he had realized his face would forever be on the ugly side of weird now.

 

He hated how he could feel her gaze on the grey graft currently holding his skin together. He thought she was the most amazing woman he had ever seen, but he doubted she felt the same even before his face was carved up. But now?

 

So he stepped back and let go of her arm. “Sorry.”

 

But she followed, seemingly uncaring of personal space. “Does it hurt?”

 

He ducked his head, feeling exposed, and rubbed the back of his neck. “They numbed it out when I was in medical.” Then he shrugged before she could ask anything else. “Come on.”

 

Without waiting, he turned away, heading towards the mess hall.

 

They were approached a few times, some wanting to hear stories and some on actual business, and Rey was polite but tired while Ben was short and dismissed people quickly. Other than that, they ate in mostly silence, both of them too tired and a bit too caught up in their thoughts to talk, but sat next to each other in companionable peace. Rey was both confused and happy about not having to trade or pay for food, Ben unintentionally sat a hair too close.

 

When they finished, Ben led her back to the Falcon. “I had them clean up the room you were in, so you can rest.” He leaned against the door jam as it slid open and he was pleased to see the fresh clothes, bedding, and a few hygiene and grooming items left on the small table.

 

Rey nodded. “Thanks, but I’d like to check on the repairs first.”

 

“Yea, of course.” He turned striding confidently and ducking out of habit as he moved through the ship.

 

“Where will you be?” Rey glanced up at him as they walked, unaware he had positioned her on his uninjured side.

 

“Haven’t decided.” He shrugged casually. It was mostly true. He hadn’t put his stuff  the captain’s quarters or in the crew bunks. But the Captain’s quarters were closer to where Rey would be, so he was probably going to sleep there.

 

“Where do you usually sleep?”

 

The question was casual, and Ben knew he was probably inventing the soft hint of curiosity in her voice. He coughed slightly, feeling his ears flush hot, then answered without looking at her. “Starshine, I usually sleep in your bed.”

 

He heard her steps falter, and glanced back. Her eyes were wide and her mouth parted with shock. She didn’t look angry though, so he swallowed his own surprise that there was more of his dad in him than he thought, and winked.

 

She flushed, and he stopped as she hurried to catch up with him. “I… I think I would remember that.”

 

He chuckled, both of them facing each other in the middle of the hall. “Han put you in my room cause it has a door.”

 

“Wait, really?” Rey stared up at him, a low heat in her belly.

 

When he nodded, glancing down the hall with a heavy breath, she swallowed. “Do you…” She licked her lips just as his face turned back to her and his already dark eyes turned nearly black as they dilated. “Do you want… I owe you a hug.”

 

His whole face changed in some indefinable way, tightening and clenching but his eyes softened and she felt like she had just fallen into a pool of quathrot sap. Her skin was tingling, her blood hot, and her stomach was so tight she thought she might throw up all the food she had eaten. She had never felt anything like this.

 

Ben on the other hand felt like he had been punched in the gut, a mix of eager anticipation and dread filling him. A thousand and one thoughts flooded his head, foremost being ‘was this just a friend hug?’ and ‘how was he going to hide his erection if she pressed against him?’

 

But instead of doing the smart thing and saying ‘No Rey, I was just joking, you don’t have to hug me,’ he nodded. “If you are offering....”

 

For what felt like forever, neither of them moved, but finally she reached out, her slim arms wrapping around his thick torso. He felt her small fingers gripping the fabric at his sides then his back, and he sucked in a breath. His own arms wrapped around her without conscious direction, and he held his breath, waiting to see if the other shoe would drop.

 

Rey on the other hand was breathing heavy and trying to calm down. He was solid, and hot, and he smelled really really good. She thought for sure he would feel her heart trying to beat it’s way out of her chest, but he just looked down at her as if waiting for something. This was nothing like hugging Finn.

 

Her fingers lightly traced the muscles of his back, finding the divot of his spine and he tensed. He was looking at her as if she were small and soft and made of something fragile, and for once in her life, it didn’t feel like an attack. For the first time in her life it wasn’t coming from someone who was going to underestimate her and try to steal what little she had. He slid one hand up her cheek, pushing a soft tendril of hair away from her eyes, then it dipped to cup the side of her neck.

 

His voice was barely audible, even as he leaned close. “I’m charging interest.” Without any further warning, he tipped his head over her, catching her gasp with his lips. The rough sound that rumbled in his chest made her whimper, eyes closing as her hand gripped his wrist, clinging to him.

 

Before she knew what or how, he had her pushed up against the wall of the corridor, and he was gripping her jaw, holding her in place as he kissed her like his life depended on it. She felt like he was sucking all the air out of her body, her head spinning and her chest tight, but she never wanted it to stop.

 

The small gasps and moans she made were driving him crazy, obsessed with making more sounds come from her. Louder… Oh yeah, he needed to make her scream. That thought was tinted with darkness, enough that he jerked away. His hand pressed her face to his shoulder, resting his forehead against the cool metal wall as he took a few deep breaths.

 

“Rey… I need you to do something for me.”

 

She was still breathless and her body throbbing when he spoke. Dazed, Rey nodded, willing to do anything right now, as long as he kept kissing her.

 

“Say….” He swallowed hard. “Say ‘Kriff off Ben,’ and push me away.” But he nuzzled the top of her head, his fingers still stroking over her neck, down her back and arms. Rubbing his hands over as much of her as he dared before he forced her to reject him.

 

Blinking in confusion, she shook her head. “What?” He nodded, a pained look on his face, biting his plump lower lip in a way that she wanted to emulate.

 

“Just do it… Tell me no.”

 

He leaned close, unable to stop the way he needed to kiss at her ear and neck, and Rey wrapped her arms around his neck. “I like it.” She panted, something innocent in her tone. “Kiss me again, Ben?”

 

He grit his teeth, so hard he nearly felt his teeth crack, and groaned. “Fuck… You are killing me, Starshine.” But he held out, gently trying to untangle her arms from his neck. Until her soft little mouth kissed his neck, sucking lightly the way he had when he kissed her neck.

 

His knees buckled and with a rough growl, and with the last bit of control he had, he reached out with the force, shutting and locking the doors that led into this hall.

 

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	7. Don't be afraid, I feel it too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut... Yea... all smut. If you don't want to read you should skip this chapter.
> 
> #fingering #semi-public #DomBen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting to the end of the stuff that is pre-written (I've got one more smutty chapter after this one done, but it needs touch-ups) and then updates are going to be a bit longer in between. If you are trying to check when a new chapter will be up, I write and will be able to post more during the week, and am much less likely to post on weekends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

In the now relative privacy of a locked corridor, Ben relaxed into Rey. Lifting her slightly and pinning her to the wall, he wedged his hips between her thighs, his palms smoothing over her arms until he pulled them over her head, catching her wrists with one hand and holding her there.

 

“Rey,” Ben smirked, his smile sharp as his hair fell over his face, a trace of his darkness in his eyes. “You know I am going to take whatever I want…” He nuzzled her ear, “if you don’t tell me no.”

 

“Take what?”

 

She blinked up at him with such an innocent look in her eyes that he choked painfully as one thought pushed to the front of his mind. He nipped her earlobe and was rewarded with an arch of her back. “You have done this before?”

 

But his hopes were both dashed and filled when she shook her head. “No…” She whimpered as his hips rolled his constrained erection against her core. By a stroke of luck, when she had been young on Jakku, there weren't any humanoids capable of raping her, and by the time there were, she was old enough to defend herself. “But I know how it works.”

 

Ben swallowed, mentally searching for strength. She was a kriffing fast learner and the moment he felt her teeth on his neck, he knew he was definitely going to cum too soon for her to find pleasure if he didn't get her off first. Just the thought of it made his cock throb and his groin clench, and he mentally confirmed his plan to make her orgasm repeatedly before he fucked her.

 

He shuddered, and fastened his mouth over hers again, his free hand palming one of her small breasts through the fabric of her outfit. All of her was slim and small, and he had to remind himself to be gentle.

 

Rey sighed in pleasure as he kissed her again. He was so big, so hot and hard pressed up against her, his hands a mix of rough and gentle that touched her deep below her skin. His fingers gripped her wrists tightly, his broad palm pressing and rubbing her breast before his fingers found and played with her nipple through her clothes.

 

Her legs clung to his hips, groaning as he rubbed that hard bulge against her. She had touched herself there before, but it had never felt like this. It hadn’t even been enjoyable enough for her to try it more than a handful of times in her 19 years. But this? This was what she had heard about. “More…” Her whisper was a half moan, and she squirmed, tugging at her wrists and trying to participate, to get more of whatever he was doing.

 

He chuckled, and she felt a shiver of energy slide over her. “I’ll give you more.” She whimpered, gasping as his mouth rubbed over the pulse in her neck.

 

His fingers were caloused as they shoved her top out of the way, then found the hem of her pants, pushing his hand down until his fingers brushed her curls. But the moisture that met his seeking fingers made him groan, and his touch gentled. “You’re so wet, Starshine.”

 

The first brush of his finger over her clit made her breath stutter, and her face took on an embarrassed tension. “Sor… sorry….”

 

The second touch was rougher and made her hips jerk and he murmured softly, his tone demanding as he did it again. “Don't ever apologize for being wet for me.”

 

She nodded, whimpering as he coaxed her body to give him more of the slick arousal. 

 

Soon his fingers were circling and pressing the tiny button and Rey was gasping, panting and whining for his touch, her body shifting and tilting for something she didn’t understand. “Ben… Ben!” He grunted, capturing her mouth with his as he pushed a finger into her tight slit.

 

She squealed into his mouth, and he felt dizzy as his cock throbbed in a rough pulsing rhythm. “You are so tight, Starshine…”

 

She didn’t hear him though, her eyes were closed and her body was riding that one finger like it was everything she needed. Ben thrust his hand, feeling the wet heat tighten on his finger and he groaned. 

 

He carefully slipped a second finger into her, and it was a struggle, her soft whimpers taking on an edge of pain, but his thumb stroked her clit again. He desperately wanted to feel her wrapped around his cock, but couldn’t quit fingering her, needing to feel her fall apart in his arms. He began stroking her closer to orgasm, fingers thrusting and rubbing her soft wet heat.

 

Her short nails dug into his back, her whole body slowly tightening, until she was shaking her head and half squirming away. “Ben… Something is wrong…”

 

“Don't be afraid, I feel it too…” He murmured gently, but didn’t stop thrusting his fingers in her tight body. “Relax… I’ve got you.” He felt her body start to flutter and he knew this was when he died of blood loss to his brain. This was it.

 

Rey was hot. So hot she thought she must be on fire. Hotter than the desert of Jakku. And her whole body hurt with a bone deep ache that only got tighter and deeper the more he touched her. He was pushing her, driving her towards something that she didn’t understand, something that scared her. So she fought it, pushing at him despite his soothing words.

 

But he growled, the sound reminding her of when they had first met less than two days ago. The sense of mass he had and the danger she should have felt but didn’t. He felt dangerous now. But his whispered words were a command she couldn’t deny, even if she had no idea what they meant, only that she needed to obey. “Come for me, Starshine.”

 

She exploded, feeling like the stretching stars of hyper-space, her body fighting and bucking and going limp in his arms. She trembled, shuddering as he whispered praise in her ear, still fingering her, though his touch slowed as her body calmed.

 

She slumped, and felt his hand release her wrists, finally able to wrap her arms around his shoulders again, fingers immediately gripping the fabric of his shirt and the strands of his hair.

 

After a long moment, during which he replayed what had happened and mentally reproached himself, he set her on her feet and adjusted himself in his pants. He didn’t know what she expected next, but apparently it wasn’t sweeping her up into his arms, one arm under her knees and the other around her back in a bridal style.

 

She clung to him again, and his long legs ate up the distance back to her room. His room. Whatever. He forced open any doors in his way and cleared the path without much effort.

 

Soon he settled her on the bunk, his movements quick and blunt. Jerking her belts off, then the rest of her clothes, he stared down at her once she was naked.

 

Rey wasn’t sure what was happening. They had rutted in the hall, and from what she had heard from the few women who sold their bodies, that should have been it. Not that she was complaining, because after he looked over her body, he had started taking off his own clothes. And that was something she was glad she didn’t miss.

 

Though still covered in a variety of bruises and injuries, Ben’s body made her insides flip and roll. Scarred and mostly pale, he was broad and thick with dips and swells of muscle. His chest was a flat plane with two tight nipples, his belly trim and roped in a symmetrical pattern with a dusting of hair leading down to his groin. His thighs should have looked thick, they were built like the rest of him, but his height kept him from looking bulky.

 

The muscle between his legs was interesting. She didn’t have much idea of what it should look like, but it was fascinating, sort of half swollen and jutting from his body. It wasn’t until he crawled on the narrow bunk with her, rubbing his body along hers, that she said anything. “What are you doing?”

 

His eyes flicked up to look at her from where he had been kissing at her chest, fingers plucking and massaging her small breasts. His expression had a dark promise in it, and when he murmured in her ear, her eyes went wide.

 

“We’re not done yet.“

 

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	8. Forging Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Smut. Yup. Also, the force bond happens.
> 
> #Sex #OralSex #Virginity #DomBen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

For all his semi-shy behavior and somewhat accidental flirting, Ben did not have the same hesitations now.

 

Rey was whimpering, hissing in pleasure with her fingers buried in his hair, his face between her legs. She had protested when she realized what he was trying to do, but he had glared at her and told her to behave. So now he licked, sucked, and nibbled at her soft cunt while she moaned and writhed under his touch.

 

Ben was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. Rey was so responsive, so soft and tight, and she tasted amazing. He wanted to spend days making her come with his mouth. Even with two fingers slowly stretching her as his hips ground against the bunk, he suddenly had the patience to play before sinking his cock in her.

 

Rey felt out of control. His tongue licking circles on her clit, his fingers invading her in a deep way she had never known before today and couldn’t explain… She was making sounds she had never heard a person make, sounds that should have frightened Ben away, but they only seemed to encourage him. Her body was moving without her direction, thighs flexing and relaxing around his ears, nails scratching his scalp, hips tilting, and back arching.

 

Despite that, this was somehow more relaxed than what he had done in the hall. There was less desperation and more control to his movements, and laying down made it possible for her to fully let go.

 

But when he wiggled and pushed a third finger into her, she whimpered in pain, body instinctively tightening, which only made the pressure worse. “Ben… It hurts…”

 

“I know.” But he didn’t pull away, only lifting his head to lock eyes with her. “But you can take it, can’t you?” His dipped his chin, using the broad flat of his tongue to lick in slow strokes over her clit, his fingers slowly rotating inside her, then giving a soft thrust. “Be my good little Starshine…”

 

As if hypnotized, she could feel herself wanting to relax for him, wanting to take whatever he was doing, something inside her softening for the hard and demanding look in his eyes.

 

And he seemed to sense it, a look of satisfaction tilting his lips before they dipped to her slit again. His fingers curled, thrusting a little bit harder, and Rey was quickly sucked under the wave of pleasure and sensation he was causing.

 

It took a bit more patience with three fingers in her; Ben had to find the right touch of his tongue and was careful not to get carried away with trying to stretch her, feeling the tension in her walls, but soon she was enjoying his attention again. Her eyes were closed and her throat was rumbling with choked words and sounds of enjoyment.

 

He drove her higher, his hand and mouth giving firmer and faster thrusts until she screeched, a soft almost-scream that made his ears ring and his cock leak another thick dribble of pre-cum into the bedding. Her thighs quivered, her bottom lifting almost completely off the bed as her body went tight and he smirked against her cunt.

 

She was perfect. And now that they had delivered the map, he was hoping he could convince her to join the crew. Actually, kriff the crew. He wanted her to join him. Han and Chewie could stay here, and Ben and Rey could steal off in the Millenium Falcon. The idea of having Rey all to himself was intoxicating, and having his dad and wookie uncle around would ruin it. He would take her away from all this fighting and they could run the stars. Ben was pretty sure she would like that.

 

As he had been thinking, he had been soothing her twitching flesh, hands stroking her thighs, mouth gently kissing and nuzzling her mound.

 

When he crawled up her body and looked into her eyes, he was pleased to see her eyes were foggy, lids drooping as she panted. All of her sun kissed skin was flushed a shade of pink under the golden tones, and she looked soft and languid.

 

Rey was floating. Whatever he had done to her in the hall had been great, all tingly and tight skin and heat, but this… This was better. She could feel him moving over her, but it was like her body wasn’t fully connected, each sensation felt far away, and turned her face to him. Her smile was soft and lazy, moaning softly as he settled his weight on top of her.

 

“Mmmm, Ben…” She whispered, her tone soft and welcoming, wrapping her arms around him as he nuzzled her neck.

 

He grinned. She was just how he wanted her. He settled his hips between her thighs, reaching between them to line up his cock with her entrance. “Ready, Starshine?”

 

She came a bit more aware at his question, looking at him curiously as he pushed forward. Ben nearly slammed into her at the way her eyes slowly widened with the pressure of him. Then he felt her flesh give and his head was suddenly enveloped in heat and wet and tight. He groaned, eyes closing as she whined softly.

 

“Just like before.” He whispered, breathless as he worked a little deeper. “It hurt at first, but I’ll make it better.” His hips jerked, and Ben grunted. He bumped up against something and she tightened around his shaft with a high pitched hiss, making him grit his teeth. “Trust me, Rey?”

 

There was a long pause, and for a moment he was afraid she would tell him to stop. But then she nodded, her voice thready. “Yes.”

 

“Good girl…” Dropping his forehead to hers, he kissed her as he whispered, “Open up to me. Open your mind.”

 

She swallowed, and he felt her trying. Her tight passage relaxed slightly as she focused elsewhere, which helped, but her mind didn’t open to his like he thought it would. She was force-sensitive, something he had first noticed on Takodana and then even more on StarKiller, but untrained. Licking his lips, he took a deep breath. “Don’t fight me.”

 

He felt the question on her lips, but he kissed her just as he forced his mind into hers, swirling around until he found her pleasure and her pain. The connection would help. Speaking in her mind, he nipped her lip.  _ ‘Good girl.’ _

 

She gasped, eyes flying wide to look at him in confusion, but he just grinned and shoved his cock deep.

 

His mind went white. Even linked to her mind and muting her pain, his pleasure filtering through her to distract her, he felt something snap in place between them. A shiver tickled his spine, but then it was gone and he was breathing hard, frozen and planted balls deep in her tight body. 

 

Rey was feeling a deep spreading ache, not quite pain, more of an uncomfortable rearrangement of her insides. She could also feel a driving pleasure but it didn’t feel like her own. It was his. It was dark and bossy, filled with arousal and need, and it was a little scary in its ferocious possessiveness.

 

Then, he was pulling back and she squeaked as he dragged along her channel, making her feel like he was scooping her out, then plunging deep again. “BEN!” Her body was too sensitive after the orgasms he had given her, every touch pleasurable but with an edge of pain.

 

His eyes were closed, his strong arms bracing his torso over her as his hips began a fluid rolling thrust, slamming deep and knocking shallow breaths out of her every time his hips slapped against her thighs.

 

She squirmed, trying to arrange her body more comfortably, but he growled, baring his teeth, a command rolling through her mind. ‘ _ Be still or I’ll hold you down.’ _

 

Her heart leapt in her chest, a thrill running through her. She could feel the compulsion trying to force her to obey, but it didn’t feel like he did it on purpose, and easily ignored it. She settled under him willingly once she was comfortable and the heavy pressure between them eased. He was muting her pain, but she could feel all of his pleasure.

 

It heated her body again, something she hadn’t thought possible. Soon her hands were gripping his biceps and back, leaving red scratches over his skin, moaning and bucking her hips against him. The more she participated, the more she felt, as if he was no longer muting her sensations.

 

He reached between them, thumbing her clit roughly, and she whimpered. But he didn’t stop, his eyes locking on hers as he spoke. “Come Starshine.” He thrust harder, and the pad of his thumb pressed down, forcing her to clench tight. “Come on my cock like a good girl…”

 

And she did.

 

She felt like a twitching, spasming mess, covered in sweat and muscles uncoordinated as she clung to him. The pulsing of her body on his solid shaft was like trying to clamp down on a steel rod, unyielding and hard. But he groaned, his hips losing their rhythm as his body sort of stuttered, then heat filled her. He grunted and made soft deep noises of pleasure that made her feel feminine and accomplished, small rolling movements of his hips as something wet spilled into her.

 

Then he slumped, his body giving out in waves. First his legs relaxed, his hips wedging tighter between her legs, then his head drooped, burrowing into her neck. His arms went one at a time, until he was sprawled over her, a heavy blanket of male heat pressing her into the mattress.

 

It was uncomfortable, but in a way she kind of liked.

 

Ben knew he was crushing Rey, but couldn’t find the will to move for several minutes. Tapped into her head, he knew she wasn’t hurt by his weight, so he took his time recovering. The air recirculation kicked on and the airflow chilled the sweat on his back, and he slowly began untangling their minds.

 

He’d had sex plenty of times before, but that had been intense. Even with others who were force-sensitive, because nerf-herder Luke had been in charge of horny teens and didn’t really watch them, it had never been like that. As he tried to pull the last of his consciousness from her, it refused to budge. Like the connection had been welded in place, and no matter how hard he pulled the thin link remained.

 

But his mental tugging seemed to bother her. “What are you doing?” Her face was pinched as if she had a headache, and he shifted to the side, carefully rearranging their bodies on the narrow bunk.

 

Giving up on the connection for now, he hauled her against him, nestling her in his arms. “Sorry, Starshine, I’ll stop… Go to sleep.” He nuzzled the back of her head, burying his face in her tangled hair and wrecked buns. He couldn't stop stroking his hands over her, until after she fell asleep and he followed her.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter that was 'done' before I started posting, so there will probably be a bit more time in between chapters now that I have to fully write them and edit them. I mentioned it in the comments, but I have more time to write/post during the week and am usually pretty busy on the weekends. I'm planning to try and get 2 chapters up a week, but I think I only have a few more (like 4-6) until this is wrapped up. So hopefully this will be finished by the end of February. Then I can start making a TLJ sequel or whatever.
> 
> Oh, and comments make my world go round. At least until I figure out Kudos and bookmarks and hits, and what they tell me.


	9. Anger and pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some bad news sends Ben spiraling into darkness.
> 
> #character death

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The next morning Rey woke up on top of Ben. He was hard and clearly eager to… sex her again? Rey wasn’t sure how to phrase it, but he had told her no, saying she would be too sore. She didn’t believe him until she stood up. After they both used the fresher and got dressed, he slung his arm over her shoulder and the two of them headed to get breakfast.

 

And something called an inhibitor implant from medical.

 

While cleaning his cum off her, Ben had realized she probably didn’t have one. When he had to explain what it was, awkwardly embarrassed the whole time, she had agreed that she needed one.

 

So they strolled, chatting casually as they slipped into the mess hall. Once they sat down though, Rey could tell something was on his mind. “Hey. What’s up?”

 

Ben stirred the food on his plate with a lazy flick of his fork. Then he set it aside and turned, looking at her with a seriousness that surprised her. “Want to be my co-pilot?”

 

For a moment she was silent, then she chuckled. “Wow, first Han, now you?” She bumped her shoulder against his with a grin. “I dunno, wouldn’t I be his co-pilot? Since you don’t have your own ship…”

 

He smirked. “I’m thinking of forcing the Old Man into retirement. Steal the Falcon, make him stay here with mom.” He picked up his fork, for a moment thinking of how Leia would like that. “It would be just you and me.”

 

Rey blinked, her mouth opening, “You can’t steal the Falcon.” Then she took a breath and her thoughts tried to follow his words. “Why would he stay here with your mom, anyway? What about your dad?” That would be weird, Han hanging out with Ben’s mom and some other dad lingering around. She didn’t know much about parents, but that seemed odd.

 

Ben stared at her. Then after a long moment, humor trickled into her mind, then flooded in as his laugh rang through the room. “I forgot you don’t know. Finn found out so I thought....” He grinned, leaning over conspiratorially. “Han is my dad, Rey.”

 

He shifted around on the narrow bench then offered her his right hand in a shake. “Ben Solo, nice to meet you.”

 

Her jaw dropped, shaking his hand out of habit. “What?” That explained… everything really. The odd dynamic when they had first picked up her and Finn. The way they talked to each other. Why a First Order defector was part of Han Solo’s crew. “What!”

 

He smirked, seeming pleased with her reaction, and forked a piece of simu-meat into his mouth with a twinkle in his eyes.

 

“You are… What?!” Rey didn’t like the feeling of being caught off guard. “Kriff off, Ben! Stop laughing at me!” She shook her head, shoving his shoulder but barely moving him. “How is Han your dad?”

 

“The usual way I assume. I’d rather not think about the details.” A look of disgust crossed his face. “Same reason we need to get you to the med-unit.” He stood, tossing his trash and holding out his hand. “Come on.”

 

Gaping at him, she followed along to the med-unit, her words a mix of questions and accusations for not telling her sooner. Only for Ben to point out that they had only known each other a few days, and she didn’t really have a response for that. Her thoughts were then consumed with all that had happened in the past few days. It felt like enough to last weeks.

 

They were strolling in and turned a corner when Ben froze at the sight in front of them. Though he wasn’t ashamed of Rey, the sight of his mother, and knowing all the questions she would ask, made him feel a bit defensive. For all he knew, Han had told Leia about Rey and then he would get it from both ends telling him to leave her alone. Something he wasn’t doing after last night.

 

He didn’t know what they were, but Rey was special to him.

 

General Organa was sitting in one of the chairs, speaking in a low voice with Chewie. She had tears on her cheeks and the wookie’s body language was mourning.

 

“What are you doing here?” Ben voice was cautious, looking around for Han to appear, trying to think of an excuse for he and Rey to be walking into medical together. Clearly something had happened, and Han was always in the thick of it. Rey was confused and vaguely embarrassed to be caught like this, shifting so that she was somewhat hidden by Ben’s big frame.

 

Leia looked up, and stood slowly, stiffly reaching for him. “Ben… Oh, darling, you heard. I wanted to call you, let you hear it from us, but your father...” She shook her head. “He didn’t want me to.”

 

Ben’s eyebrows rose, his hands gripping his mother’s shoulders. “What are you talking about? Where’s dad?”

 

Leia shook her head. “He’s gone.”

 

He snorted, not catching the meaning in his mother’s words. Kriffing typical of Han. Old Man was crafty, stealing the Millenium Falcon before Ben could. “He just got here, where’s he going?” He looked at Chewie, and a sudden chill slipped into his chest. Han never went anywhere without the hairy comrade. And Leia and the wookie were in the medical unit, clearly upset.

 

Leia stood at his side, patiently waiting for her son to catch up. She had seen the girl he walked in with, probably the girl Han and Finn had told her about, but saved that for later as Rey sat next to Chewie and the two of them spoke softly.

 

“Gone?”

 

She nodded, her voice wavering. “Last night he… Doctor Horbtey thinks he had a heart attack on StarKiller. She did what she could, but-” Leia took a shuddering breath, cupping her son’s face in her hands. “He passed a few hours ago.”

 

“This is my fault…If I hadn’t let him come-” Ben voice cracked on his whisper, and Rey stood, wanting to comfort him but not knowing how. His sorrow was lapping at her thoughts like waves on a beach. She could tell he was drowning in it.

 

Leia cut him off with a firm shake of her head. “This is not your fault. Your father,” She swallowed with a small smile, “Han was getting himself into scrapes long before you were born, and nothing you or I did would have stopped him.”

 

“No, no, I should have known-” Ben tried to pull away, his typically pale skin was ashen and his face was oddly relaxed in shock. “I should have been here!”

 

“Benjamin Chewbacca Organa-Solo,” Leia didn’t let him go, looking into his eyes. “Stop it. He wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

It wasn’t until that moment Rey completed the puzzle of Ben solo. Or at least thought she completed it. Han Solo’s son. Princess/General Leia Organa’s son. Luke Skywalker’s nephew. Kriff, that was heavy.

 

Ben knew his mother was right, but that knowledge was buried deep. So deep he didn’t feel it.

 

It would have been wrong for Han Solo to die any other way than with a blaster in his hands or from an injury he got on some fool hardy mission. Even if he had known his heart was failing, he wouldn’t have stopped smuggling, or getting into trouble on outer-rim planets, or drinking, or doing stupid things like catching rathtars.

 

But that didn’t matter. He should have known. He should have felt his father’s passing. His red-rimmed eyes flicked to Rey. He would have felt it in the Force if he hadn’t been with Rey. Sudden fire filled his eyes, burning away the wet beginnings of tears.

 

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	10. Cutting Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is an asshole and Rey handles it like she usually does. She doesn't.
> 
> #angst?maybe #assholeBen #lonerRey #LeiaAndTheseStupidChildren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, Thank you to everyone who comments, even if I don't reply to your specific one. I am compulsively checking my dash to see if there are any new ones when I can't be writing or like, working or whatever. And I keep smiling like a loon when I see a new one.
> 
> In case anyone was wondering why I haven't written Reylo before(since TFA came out in 2015 and I'm only just getting on this ship now), I'll tell you a tiny story.
> 
> So I saw TFA and totally thought Finn and Rey were going to hook up, but not enough to really get into it or write fics about it. It was just a casual ship. I knew Rey/Kylo existed, but I didn't see it... because it's subtle and I was kinda hoping she would be secret-Luke-daughter or something else special. I wasn't an Anti (because I'm not anti any ship, everybody likes what they like), but I thought they would end up related and didn't want to get into it and have my ship sink. The original trilogy burned me bad. But then TLJ came out and Finn/Rey sank like a stone. It's all Finn/Poe, Reylo, or Reylo+ for me. And if Episode 9 reveals they are related I'm setting the world on fire.
> 
> What this boils down to is that I will be writing more Reylo fics, so if you have any prompts or anything you want to see written, hit me up here or on my tumblr. um... @twinkitten .... Am I doing that right? :P I might not do everything that gets submitted, but I've got a list of prompts on my Tumblr that I've stolen from a few other Reylo sites. I mostly use that tumblr as a list of things to remember to write, lol, but it's not all Reylo if you go back far enough.
> 
> Enjoy!

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Rey had sensed the turn in Ben, and had given him a shaky smile before leaving him with his mother and uncle. His soft and seemingly caring looks had turned venomous. Now he was looking at her like… well she didn’t have a good comparison. She had seen less hate on the faces of scavengers who’d had their rations stolen. But she wasn’t sure why he was looking at her like that.

 

So she had gone in to see the doctor on her own, and gotten the strange implant that would prevent pregnancy until it was removed. It was odd, under the skin of her hip, hidden unless someone was looking for it. She could barely feel it with her own fingers, so it wouldn’t rub or irritate against her belts.

 

When she came out, Ben and his family were gone. Feeling a flicker of hurt, she brushed it away. She had no reason to feel hurt, His father had just died, and he probably had things to do and people to see.

 

That night she slept alone in the bunk they had shared. It was odd. She had been on her own for over a decade, sleeping alone for all of it. She had known him only a few days, had sex and slept with him one time. And somehow there was an empty spot in the small bed. And an odd void in her thoughts.

 

She didn’t see him until the next day when Leia made the simple announcement. It was so- finalistic. Han Solo had died. The news seemed to send a strange wave through the resistance, a mix of sadness and lost hope, another person the First Order had taken from them. This time an idol, when they had so few.

 

Now that she knew Han was his dad, the similarities were so obvious she was shocked she had missed them.

 

His long legs encased in tough fabric, a belt and blaster strapped to his leg along with the tube of his lightsaber. She had meant to ask him about that, but never got around to it. He was taller and broader than Han, but the way he moved was nearly identical, leaning his hip against a console and crossing his ankles, or the way he pulled his arms over his chest stretching his shirt. His hair was longer and softer, darker, but had the same windblown and uncaring style Han’s did. Or used to.

 

Ben looked both haggard and composed. Or at least not sad. He looked like he was ready to tear the base apart. His face was held in a stiff blank mask, but his eyes still burned with anger she could see even though he refused to look at her.

 

She didn’t know what he was so pissed about but Rey was starting to get angry too.

 

When Leia asked to meet her in the briefing room, Ben seemed surprised by the scowl she gave him when she walked by. But his surprise morphed into fury before he followed her.

 

Leia sensed the tension in the room, was no way she missed it, but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, she asked if Rey felt like she could take a mission.

 

Rey eagerly accepted before she even knew what it was.

 

“I want you and Chewie to take the Millenium Falcon and follow the map. Find Luke and bring him back.”

 

Surprisingly, Leia was able to finish speaking before Ben furiously jumped into the conversation. “What! No, the Falcon is  _ mine _ ,” he motioned at Rey like she was some sort of dirty child, “And why would you send her anyway?” His disgusted sneer had her hackles up, both hurt and defensive, reminded of all the times she had been worthless on Jakku.

 

Leia gave him an icy glare, arching her eyebrows until he stopped talking. “First of all, Benjamin, Don’t take that tone with me.”  Ben recognised the look in her eyes, even though it had been over 15 years since he had seen it. He held her gaze, the anger and pain inside him roiling in his gut, nearly making him disregard the clear warning. In another life he might have lashed out, using both his size and his force-powers to intimidate and destroy until he got his way.

 

But in this life, he simmered.

 

Breaking eye contact, Ben grit his teeth and pulled back a step, glaring at Rey now instead of his mother.

 

Nodding, as if satisfied, Leia relaxed slightly. “That’s better. Now, Han told me about Rey, and what happened on Starkiller-” She held up a hand preemptively when Ben took a breath to interrupt, “AND I have made my decision. I cannot send you to convince Luke,” She settled her hands in front of her, giving Ben a long slow look, as if trying to tell him something through her eyes. “Rey is worthy of this task.”

 

Rey felt a bubble of hope inflate in her heart, making her chest hurt as she looked at Leia. The legendary Leia Organa thought  _ Rey  _ was worthy of something so important. And having someone believe in her was a new feeling. Her eyes skimmed over Ben, and she mentally started cutting off the tiny tendrils of affection she had started to feel for him. Much like on Jakku and when Finn had left on Takodana, she reverted to her defense mechanisms when people she had thought cared about her… didn’t.

 

Leia was still talking to her son and Rey felt like an observer, despite being invited in. “The Falcon is not yours. Not yet.”

 

Ben felt his face fill with heat, the familiar burn of darkness clouding his mind. “But, if you want it, you may go with Rey and Chewie.” The older woman tilted her head, her face softening as if she wanted to say more, but her gaze flicked to Rey.

 

“Child, you are going to bring hope back to the resistance.” The skin of Leia’s hands was thin, but soft and warm as they settled on her shoulders. “I’ve already told Chewie, so go pack a bag and get anything else you need from the dispensary.”

 

Rey nodded. “Thank you, Ma’m. I won’t let you down.”

 

She smiled, a knowing and accepting nod of her head finally dismissing the younger girl. When Rey reached the doorway, she paused, looking back at Ben. Just as she lifted her chin, he looked up and she turned away, head high and refusing to give him another moment of thought.

  
  
  


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	11. Nerf-herder like your father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Leia have some honest mother/son talk
> 
> #angst? #LeiaSpaceMom #BenIsANerf-herder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is weird, but I kinda love how mixed the comments on the last chapter are. I think that's what was supposed to happen though, because yes, Ben is in a bad situation emotionally, but he is handling it like trash.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Leia watched her son as he threw a… well, a tantrum. Chucking things around the small room and hitting things. She was reminded of his teenage years, and waited him out. It went against her nature, but she did it. Leia would have prefered to jump in, stop him, yell at him, lecture him, hug him… but that wasn’t what he needed. From the conversations she’d had with Han over the years, sometimes Ben needed violence and destruction. His advice had been to let the younger man tire himself out, then talk to him. Any attempt before that would just make it last longer.

 

At least he hadn’t pulled out his lightsaber. According to Han, that was progress from when they first got him back from the First Order.

 

She wasn’t stupid. She knew something was going on with her son and Rey. She had seen them walk into the med-unit together and had sensed the tension between them after that, and her son’s hostility towards her. But if she came out and asked him, Ben would shut down. That much she had learned on her own. She had to wait.

 

As a princess and a general, she was not used to waiting. She didn’t like it.

 

But she settled into a chair near the door, waiting until he turned towards her.

 

She saw so much of his father in him that it pained her. The shape of his shoulders, the way he moved. Han would have never admitted it, but Ben got his temper from his father too. Every now and then Leia saw herself in their son. When he used his words to sway people. When his eyes flickered with hidden thoughts that he didn’t say. The mask he used.

 

She was sorry he had gotten that from her; the ability to hide emotions behind a facade. He hurt himself when he used it, the same as she always had. They both hurt others with it. She liked to think he got his wit from her, but she knew it was both his parents that had given him his sass and sarcasm.

 

Ben had gotten both the best and worst qualities of his parents. He was all extremes with no real middle ground. Always had been, even as a baby. Either laughing ecstatically or crying like the world had ended. She knew he struggled to stay moderate, fought to stay away from intense emotions both light and dark. She hated that. She wished he could have the highs of joy and love without the lows of misery and hate.

 

He finally turned, panting with sweat beaded on his face, and his flushed skin blanched when he saw her. “How long have you been there?”

 

She raised her eyebrows, and he wiped his face with a broad palm. “Nevermind.” He started to stalk past her, but she slid her chair in front of the door, blocking him. Ben might have darkness still swirling in him, but he wasn’t prepared to yank his mother out of the way. But the thought crossed his mind.

 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

 

Ben’s head twitched to the side, about to say ‘I don’t know what you are talking about,’ but in the ruins of the room, that was silly. So he shook his head.

 

“Alright, I’ll guess.” Leia looked at him, watching his face for the cues. “Something happened with Rey.”

 

His head jerked up, his eyes filling with fire, and she had her answer. In the few days since Rey and Chewie had left on the Millenium Falcon, Ben had been more of a shit than usual. He had been an asshole to Rey the whole time she had been leaving, and then once she was gone, he had a hair trigger temper over anything going wrong, no matter how small.

 

Leia sighed, crossing her hands over her abdomen, giving him a knowing look. “Tell me.”

 

Ben nearly vibrated with how tense he was, like a wire strung too tight and she was plucking at him. For a long moment, she thought he would refuse.

 

But then, he exhaled and in a fluid movement, lifted and righted a chair with the force, slouching into it as if he had no bones. He was still silent for a long time, but then he finally sat up a bit, avoiding eye contact, and spoke softly. “His last request?” He rubbed his mouth with the side of a finger, erasing words from his lips as he changed direction. “The last thing he specifically told me not to do-” His breath shuddered on a rough exhale. “I was doing it while he died.”

 

Leia tilted her head curiously, trying to follow the convoluted explanation. “Han?” Ben nodded, and she pushed forward. “He told you not to do something, but you did it anyway,” Mentally, she scoffed. It was no surprise to her that Han was issuing orders and Ben was ignoring those orders. “What did he tell you?”

 

Ben looked at his mother through hooded eyes, wondering if he could tell her. It felt like a betrayal to his father. Han had told him to never tell Leia about the conversation. But Han was dead and Ben was lost.

 

He wasn’t looking forward to telling her that he had sex with Rey either.

 

With a scowl and focusing his eyes on the far wall, he mumbled, “Not to get involved with Rey.”

 

He watched Leia’s eyes widen slightly, then she smirked. “Han told you not to get involved with a girl?” She chuckled, “That’s a first. Why?”

 

Ben shook his head. “I don’t want you to hate him.”

 

Leia smirked. “Nothing you could tell me would make me hate your father.”

 

“He said…” Ben felt an involuntary hint of a smile tilt his face at the memory. “He would throw me out an airlock if I told you this, but…” Grunting, he had to work up to this but didn’t really know how, so he rubbed his palms harshly on his thighs. “He said he loved you but you were only together because of shared trauma. That you would have never been together otherwise.”

 

For the first time in many years, Leia was surprised by her husband. Han was many things, ranging from a charming scoundrel to a force-blessed lucky bastard who needed to be shot. But he was rarely, if ever, introspective. Well, apparently he was and never said anything.

 

She chose her next words as carefully as she was able. “I… suppose he was right.”

 

The way Ben’s head jerked to look at her, shock in his face, was comical but she didn’t laugh. “You have to remember, I was a princess. He was a smuggler on the wrong side of the law. We never would have even met if it weren't for the war.”

 

Ben shook his head, looking oddly childish, as if refusing to believe his parents had never been meant to fall in love. “But if you had met, you would have-”

 

She cut him off with a smile. “Hated each other.” His face was crestfallen, and Leia reached over to put her hand on his arm comfortingly. “Do you remember those stories we told you?” She tilted her son’s face up from where he had hunched to look down at his feet. “Without the war forcing us together, we would have had two minutes together and then never seen each other again.” She chuckled as she remembered her youth and Han’s pursuit of her, if it could even be called that.

 

“We antagonized each other.” She smiled, “We made fun of each other, called each other names… I thought your father was the scum of the universe.” She tilted her head to the side with a self deprecating smile. “He thought I was a spoiled brat with no useful skills. And he told me so. Often.”

 

Ben shook his head, “But that was love!”

 

“No… Oh no, Ben.” Leia smiled sadly, “It became love. But those things we did to each other were not love. They were closer to hate.” Stroking her thumb over the healing scar on his face, she shook her head. “There have been many times in your life that I thought we failed you. But this must be our biggest failure.”

 

Ben looked at her then, his eyes piercing. He had never heard his parents express doubt over their ability to be good parents. He had always felt he failed them. Too much Force and darkness, too little of Han and Leia inside him. Not enough swagger for his father and not enough diplomacy for his mother. “No, mom…” His voice cracked, like it hadn’t since he was a teen, and she shook her head.

 

Leia shook her head. “We tried to teach you so many things, we forgot to teach you love… Show you real love.”

 

Ben’s face tilted, letting her hand cup his cheek. “No mom, you loved me-”

 

She gave a small laugh choked with restrained tears. “We love you, but we didn’t teach you love, Ben.” Ben shuddered and his big body slid out of his chair, crouching in front of Leia, his head in her lap and his arms around her waist; he was too big to sit in her lap now but he needed his mother’s embrace. “Your father and I loved each other, but we were deeply fractured. Dysfunctional.”

 

Her aging fingers stroked through her son’s dark hair, comforting him as he finally let out the sadness and weight he had been carrying for too long, the pain of an oddly broken family. The new pain of loss and grief. “We taught you lousy habits for how to treat those you love.”

 

They sat like that for a while, the room a pocket of time that was insulated from the rest of the base. When Ben finally lifted his head, Leia smiled gently. “Now tell me why you are angry with Rey.” Leia knew most of his outbursts were because of the emotions inside him and not because of things around him, but she still didn’t understand why he had so much anger directed at the girl.

 

Ben scoffed, still bitter. “If I hadn’t been…” He made a casual motion with his hand, nothing vulgar but meant to imply the relationship, “... with her, I would have been there for him. I could have saved him. She distracted me and he died.”

 

Now Leia did laugh. Loud and long while her son stared at her.

 

“Oh, my darling, no one could have saved him. It was his time.” She wiped her eyes, still filled with mirth. “Honestly, what do you think your father would say if he found out you left a girl in your bed to go to the bedside of a dying man?”

 

“I…” Ben stared at his mother in dawning horror. His father would have told him to get the kriff out and go to the girl. He shook his head, refusing to voice it.

 

But Leia had no hesitation. “He would have sent you back, and you know it.” Han was a shameless rake, despite being long past the time he could follow through with his flirtations. “He would have thought it a fitting send off; his son following in his ways.”

 

Ben snorted, his voice low. “I’m an idiot.”

 

“A nerf-herder like you father..” Leia stroked her hand over the crown of his head in a loving apology to soften the blow of her insult. “Now, what are you going to do about patching things up with that girl?”

  
  


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	12. Fuck the Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben goes to find Rey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rey didn’t cry. Hadn’t since she moved out of Unkar’s slums where he kept the scavengers that were too weak, too young or too old, to make their own way. Afterall, it was a waste of moisture and once she was out of his slapping range, she didn’t have much to cry about. Her family would be back for her. Hopefully these few days away from Jakku wouldn’t be the days they chose to return, but if they did, she would find them again. Nothing to cry about.

 

But that didn’t seem to matter as she sat in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon, her nose starting to clog and her eyes itching. She was getting a headache from holding back the tears, her chest burning from trying to control her breathing.

 

Chewie had gone to bed an hour ago, so she didn’t even have to put on the facade for him, yet she still refused to cry. Not over him.

 

She had been on her own a long time. She had known him less than 3 days, why did he matter so much? He shouldn’t. He didn’t. 

 

“I don’t care.” She whispered softly. There was no one else here; she was trying to convince herself.

 

Shaking her head, Rey forced herself to relax in the pilot’s chair. She could have gone to her bunk, but being in the pilot’s chair gave her the illusion of purpose. And the bed didn’t really feel like hers.

 

Leia had told her to take the captain’s quarters, and Chewie had nodded approvingly. But it still felt like Han’s space. She could have gone to the first mate’s quarters, but it didn’t feel like hers either; full of memories and imaginings of it being… his room.

 

As she let her eyes lose focus, watching the streak of stars outside the shield, she hated her imaginings. Hated how she thought of him; would he be tidy or leave his clothes in piles, how would he look walking out of the fresher, did he wake up early or sleep like the dead? Each thought was followed by imagining him in those ways, followed by her grumbling and feeling a flair of shame for even caring enough to think of him. But no matter how hard she tried, he remained a presence in her mind, like a splinter that she couldn’t dig out. Not painful, but a feeling that she couldn’t ignore.

 

She fell asleep with those thoughts, her head lolling against the side of the headrest. Her dreams were an odd mix of anger that didn’t feel like her own, and turmoil at the thought of meeting Luke Skywalker. When she woke up it was to the jolt of the Falcon leaving hyper-speed, a crick in her back, and a sore neck.

 

Chewie was cramped in the co-pilot’s seat, and she glanced at him with a rough rub of her hand over her face. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

 

He grunted with that rumbling throaty sound, and she rolled her eyes. “Yea, yea… I will.”

 

Looking around as she rearranged herself in the pilot’s chair, she took in the wide ocean of the planet, a small rocky island in the distance of the horizon. After growing up on Jakku, it was disorienting to see so much water. Odd to think some planets had as much water as Jakku had sand.

 

Landing the falcon on the rough terrain took some time, but she and the wookie figured it out, and the ramp opened to a wet and rocky landscape. She hesitated at the end of the ramp, then stepped off, her first steps on the island filling her with purpose. With a nod to Chewie, she started the long hike up the mountains to find Luke.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It had taken considerable bribing, begging, prompting, and negotiating from both Ben and Leia to get Poe to agree. He didn’t want to leave Finn’s side, and Ben saw the conflicted longing in his gaze, but he managed to convince the pilot to take a two day trip to drop him at the same location that Rey had headed to.

 

It was an awkward trip, Poe hinting to find out what had happened that Ben suddenly needed to follow the girl, and Ben giving as little as he politely could. But it was enough that Poe figured it out. He seemed relieved and it took a bit for Ben to figure out why. Ben had never been good at discerning the motives of other people. After that, they had a sort of companionable understanding that didn’t require them to talk.

 

The smaller and lighter quick transport found the Falcon, and a parking spot nearby, and the pilot dropped Ben off without any fanfare. Just a wave and a quirk of his eyebrows, as if to say good luck.

 

Reaching out with the force, Ben could feel that Rey wasn’t in the Falcon, instead she was up the steep rocky hills somewhere. He didn’t sense Luke, but that was fine by Ben. He came around the side of the ship and saw Chewie having a stare off with the strange birds, and smirked. After a surprised greeting, Ben stashed his belongings on board and prepared to wait for Rey to come down the mountain.

 

He wasn’t going up. If there was one person that Luke didn’t want to see it was Ben, and Ben didn’t want to see him either. Rey had to come down sometime. Didn’t she?

 

Apparently not.

 

It was three more days of him and Chewie bumming around the Falcon, Chewie giving him shit the whole time, before Ben realized she wasn’t coming down. Ben was not surprised Luke was being a total ass about coming to the Resistance. But he was surprised to find his feet headed up the mountain.

 

He would have prefered both reunions, the one with Rey and the one with Luke, be separate. Private. But the Force was never with Ben. Not like this. Oh yea, he could choke people, force lightning, and do all manner of mind invasions. But luck? That had always been Han’s realm. Talking to people? That was all Leia’s.

 

When not actively controlling it, Ben’s connection with the Force was volatile. As likely to make him fall as it was to help him fly, like a moody bipolar girlfriend. Today was a falling day.

 

Fuck the Force.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad news bears. I thought I had a few more chapters of this before I got to The Last Jedi timeline. I was wrong. Sadly, this is the last chapter. But I will be releasing a sequel that will cover the events of TLJ, when that movie comes out on dvd so I can watch it on repeat like a lunatic. (I've seen it twice, but that is not nearly enough for me to trust my memory of events.) I've got a few other in-progress fics that will come out between now and then, so no worries. 
> 
> I hope I figured AO3 out enough that this is now marked as complete. I have also gone back and edited the tags, but those should come back in the sequel.


	13. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben goes to apologize to Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… I have been able to start this earlier than expected, because I am lucky and live in a place where someone heard me bitching, and had the ability to help me out. That’s good for you guys, less for my productivity in other areas.
> 
> So, we left off with Ben arriving on Ahch-To and finally going up the mountain to find Rey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Chewie had not been encouraging when Ben started up the mountain with a pack over his shoulder. Rather, he had been a bit critical of him. Chewie liked Rey.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you…” Ben dropped his voice as he turned away, muttering under his breath, “Hairy Carpet.”

 

The hike up the mountain was not easy. Though in excellent shape, Ben was used to a different kind of exercise and this of terrain was not like any he had walked before. There were more of those annoying birds Chewie had an odd affinity for, but nothing else. Just rocks, and sea, and sky.

 

His thighs were burning and his breath was huffing softly when he finally reached a small flat portion that had been carved out of the mountains to make room for several stone huts. Rey was pacing, irritation clear in her sharp and quick movements; kicking a stone, stamping her staff against the ground, muttering as she turned and paced back. She didn’t see or sense him yet, though he didn’t know how.

 

He had sensed her the moment he hit the atmosphere, like a star guiding him home. Even across the galaxy there was an idle awareness of her. So he was grateful for a chance to look at her. The chance for his eyes to drink her in.

 

He had been away from her for as long as he had known her, a few days each, and yet it felt like the first time he saw a sunrise after years in the darkness of space. As Kylo Ren, he had lived on starships, and there were no sun-rises in the First Order. She was his sunrise, and he was happy to look at her until his eyes burned.

 

But too soon, she looked up and her frustrated face turned furious before soothing into blank detachment. Stalking closer, he thought she might stop in front of him, but simply crossed her arms over her chest, keeping a careful distance between them. “What are you doing here?”

 

He turned, following her with his eyes. “I came to…” He hesitated, his mind filling in the blanks of things he couldn’t say.  _ I came to say I’m sorry. I came to be with you... _ And instead said, “to help you. With Luke.”

 

She scoffed and turned, starting up another set of steps, he could hear it even with her back to him. “I don’t need your help. I’ve got it under control.”

 

Ben’s mouth moved into a smirk, speaking before his brain could stop him. “Yeah, I can tell by the way you are pissed off out here, no Luke in sight.”

 

He was already wincing when she whirled around, her staff swinging to within an inch of his face, her grip on it so tight her knuckles were white. Brown eyes met brown, his filled with regret, her filled with anger.

 

“I’ve already met with Master Skywalker. He has been training me.” She pulled the blunt weapon away and he relaxed slightly, mentally rolling his eyes at her calling him ‘Master Skywalker’ and the idea of Luke training her put a pit in his stomach.

 

“Don’t roll your eyes at me!” This time she did hit him, the heavy metal of the staff striking him in the shoulder hard enough to shift his weight. Apparently he had rolled his eyes for real, or he had projected the idea so strongly that she thought he had actually done it. “I don’t need or want you here. So, leave however you arrived.”

 

Ben felt a twinge at her words. He wanted her to need and want him. “Can’t do that. Poe’s probably already back at HQ.” He grinned, trying for once to turn on the Solo charm. “Looks like you are stuck with me… Sorry.”

 

She turned away, stalking up the stone steps. Glancing over her shoulder dismissively, she pointed back to the Falcon in the distance. “Go away.”

 

Jogging after her, he tried for a more cajoling tone. “Come on Rey, at least talk to me for a minute. Let me, I don’t know,” He shrugged, watching his footing. “Apologize?”

 

She stopped so suddenly that he ran into her, nearly knocking her down but she was paying attention, so she caught herself while he scraped his shins on the stone steps and his palms slapped bruisingly to the ground.

 

She glared down at him, and he had a feeling that this would not be the last time he would grovel to her for forgiveness. “What are you talking about?”

 

“I wanted to say sorry.”

 

She arched an eyebrow and for a moment, Ben was reminded of his mother, as uncomfortable as that was. An imperious and controlled way she held herself. Just a moment then it was gone, and she was as wild as ever. “Sorry?”

 

“Yeah…” He grinned up at her as he pushed back to his feet. “I’m sorry that I was…” He shrugged, his shoulders bunching under his shirt briefly. “I don’t know, sorry that I was mean to you?”

 

“You don’t know what you are sorry for?” Rey’s tone was sharp and she watched him wince. But she didn’t care, she had cut herself off from caring about him. “How can you apologize if you-” She took a breath. ”...You know what. I accept.” Turning away from his hopeful face she started trudging up the mountain to practice her meditation again. “Now go away.”

 

“What? What do you mean, don’t you want to-”

 

She turned around, purposely hitting him with her staff again as he followed too close. “No. I don’t want to. I want to get Luke to come back, and from what I’ve heard, you will not be helpful with that. So GO… AWAY.”

 

He was silent as she walked away, and despite her insistence that she didn’t feel anything for him, her heart panged a little, a tiny tug in his direction, wishing that he had protested a little more. Apologized more sincerely. Done something so that she could release the tight grip on her feelings for him.

 

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	14. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First force bond and Luke reveals information to Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this part is taking longer because I'm struggling with it a bit. so I wrote some smut in another story to tide me over and get me back in the zone.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey didn’t mention Ben to Luke, throwing herself into training the power inside herself. Ignoring the growing awareness; as she became more connected to the Force, she became more connected to Ben.

 

At first she didn’t realize what it was, just feelings that weren't her own. She thought it was the Force. Until late one night, as she shivered trying to sleep on the stone platform outside Luke’s hut. Everything seemed too loud all of a sudden, then eerily quiet. Except for the soft echo of heavy breathing.

 

Lifting her head, she looked around. A few feet away, Ben lay on his back somehow on a stone bench but… not on the bench. The lighting was wrong as it splashed across his bare chest, a blanket pulled over his lower body.

 

He was breathing hard, chest heaving and shuddering in the golden light of wherever he was, in contrast to the blue darkness surrounding him and her. At first she thought he was awake, but then he made a soft sound of distress, and turned his head towards her. His eyes were closed but his face was tight with tension as his legs shifted and thrashed.

 

Standing slowly, confused and thinking this must be a dream, she stood, walking over to him and looking into his face. This had to be a dream. In dreams she could pretend he hadn’t hurt her.

 

Reaching out slowly, her fingers stroked over his cheek, surprised at the solid feel of him. His eyelids fluttered open and sleepy eyes looked up at her. She had seen those eyes the morning after he took her to his bunk. The memory was warm and soft, and she could pretend the rest of the day didn’t happen. She could pretend it was the same morning.

 

“Rey!” His voice was scratchy and he sat up suddenly, reaching for her. “What happened, is everything o-”

 

She cut him off, leaning the few inches to kiss his mouth. Her eyes closed on a sigh when his warm lips feathered over hers. It felt the same and right and different and wrong all at the same time.

 

He seemed to sense it too and pulled back. “What is this? Where are you?” Ben seemed to try and look around her but his eyes didn’t focus on her surroundings, instead seeming to get stuck on his own. “Is this what Luke is teaching you?”

 

She shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about Luke,” crawling onto the stone bench that was somehow also the bunk in the Millenium Falcon. Rey moved sleepily into his lap and his arms wrapped around her without conscious thought, her head settling on his shoulder as she finally was warm enough to start falling asleep. 

 

His voice was soft as he looked down at her drowsy form. “No… He wouldn’t teach you this. And the effort would injure you.” His broad hand brushed over her forehead, pushing back her hair as he felt her cold and damp skin and anger flared. Luke wasn’t taking care of her. Typical. “This is something else.”

 

But she was already asleep. He didn’t know what was happening, but if she forgave him, if she needed him to hold her in this in between reality, he would. Eventually he fell asleep too, his arms wrapped around her slender frame.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Rey woke up, she was on the stone bench she had crawled onto when she hallucinated Ben being with her. Shaking her head, she sighed, and got up to find something to eat. Her day moved the same as it had for the past few, following Luke to part of the Island, and he worked with her on the Force.

 

It was late in the afternoon, during a break when Luke was telling her stories of Jedi gone wrong and why Jedi needed to end.

 

“I don’t understand. Leia needs you. The Resistance needs you.” She stared at him with a confused and pleading expression. “ Teyigh Ren is growing stronger, and the First Order is going to wipe out the Rebellion then take over the galaxy!”

 

Luke tilted his head, brows furrowing in confusion. “Teyigh Ren? What happened to Kylo Ren?”

 

Rey’s mouth dropped open. For days she had been telling him how he was the hope the rebels needed, but he wanted to know the social status of the enemy? “What?!” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I think he disappeared years ago. Why does it matter?”

 

Luke’s face softened, his aged skin sagging as his eyes turned sad and introspective. “I suppose it doesn’t.”

 

Rey stared at him, her mind whirling. Why would he be sad that Kylo Ren disappeared, who from all the stories she had heard was as bad or worse than Teyigh. Then she remembered. One of Luke’s students had turned on him, destroying his academy. “Kylo was your padawan… The one who made you exile yourself.”

 

His thin lips quirked in a small smile. “He was more than that, but yes.”

 

There was a long silence, and finally Rey sighed, moving to his side and sitting on the ground next to him. “Tell me what else he was.”

 

Luke looked at her for a long moment, nothing but the sound of the wind and the sea and the Porgs. Then he nodded. “Alright.”

 

“Kylo was… gifted in the Force. Strong and skilled even before I took him for training. A fast learner. He always wanted to know more, and do more. He was an example to the other students, often driving and motivating them to higher levels of control, deeper wells of power.”

 

“But, I sensed darkness in him. I felt it. I saw it in him.” Luke sighed, looking down at his hands, and Rey sensed shame in him. “One night, I went to see him. To confront him. He turned on me.”

 

“He left me for dead. When I came to, he had destroyed the temple and taken a handful of students. Killed the rest.” Luke looked at Rey with eyes that were filled with sadness and shame and pain. “I failed him. I failed Leia and Han.”

 

Rey’s eyebrows bunched and she shook her head. “Leia and Han? What does Kylo have to do with them?”

 

Luke’s eyes cleared slightly, focusing on something other than the sad memories. “You don’t know? Ah, well… Kylo was my nephew.”

 

Rey’s eyes went wide, her mouth parting softly. “Kylo Ren was… Ben’s brother?”

 

“How do you know Ben?” Luke looked surprised but then pushed on. “Brother? No, no… Ben Solo and Kylo Ren are the same person, Rey.”


	15. Murderous Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts Ben about his other identity, then talks to Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, ok, I think I'm back in the zone. Stupid hormones. Anyway, I hope to be back to alternating post between the two stories this week.

That evening, before Rey fell asleep, she felt the same pull from her dream. The same silence as if the world had paused. When she looked around, she found Ben, laying on his back with a tool in his hands, eyes focused on something she couldn’t see. If she had to guess, she would say he was working on the Falcon.

 

“This…” She hesitated, seeing nothing but him as he sat up to look at her. “This isn’t a dream, is it. This is something else.” Ben raised his eyebrows, surprised to hear her echo his own thoughts on this connection.

 

He nodded. “A force bond. It happens sometimes connecting two people strong in the Force, but only with people who-” He chuckled, tossing the tool aside and standing up. Rey’s eyes followed the tool until it faded from the vision. “People who are meant to be important to each other. Usually padawans and their masters, but sometimes lovers.”

 

“We are not lovers!” Rey scowled then turned away, pacing as she spoke. “So, why is the force connecting us?”

 

Ben’s gaze softened as he watched her, hating how quickly she rejected their intimacy, though he didn’t blame her after how he had acted. Even in the rain, this time with a poncho to keep her dry, she glowed with light. “Because we are meant to be.”

 

She scoffed. “I’m not meant to be anything with you,  _ Kylo Ren _ , murderous snake of the First Order.” He flinched and she smiled, as if pleased to hurt him. “Oh yes, Skywalker told me what you are.”

 

Ben sighed, rubbing his broad palm over his face before moving closer to her. “Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why?”

 

“I know everything I need to know about you!” Rey snarled, her anger at him for his treatment of her finally finding an acceptable way to vent her fury.

 

“You do?” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes flicking away and then back to her. “Ah you think you do. You have that look in your eyes.”

 

“You are a monster!”

 

“Yes I am.” He had a viciously mocking tilt to his mouth as he agreed, and for the first time, Rey saw the darkness in him. He stalked closer and she backed up, bumping into the hull of the Millenium Falcon. “We are bonded, Rey.” He leaned close, and she could feel the heat of his skin and the puff of his breath as he whispered. “So I’m your monster.”

 

The bond flickered away, and Rey was left panting on the cliff, Ben wiping rain from his face in the engine room of the Falcon.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Luke was somehow more difficult after learning Ben was alive. Any progress that Rey had made before was wiped out and he was even more stubborn in his refusal to return to the Resistance. She pushed and pushed, but he didn’t seem any more likely to help.

 

Finally, she asked what had been rattling around in her brain since Ben mentioned it. “What happened that night?”

 

Luke sighed. “I already told you-”

 

“No.” Rey moved to block him, standing in front of him and refusing to let him avoid her eyes. “What happened?”

 

Luke started to puff up, clear irritation on his face, but after a moment he deflated. “Alright… Alright.” He seemed so old in that moment, that Rey almost wanted to pull the question back.

 

But she didn’t, and he told her. In slow halting words, pausing frequently to think before continuing. He told her of his own conceit, of the hubris so common in the Jedi, and how he had taken students under his wing. Sensing the darkness in him, he confronted the boy. And in his darkness, Ben had destroyed everything, killed most of the students, and run to the darkside. To Snoke.

 

“I failed him, because I thought I couldn’t fail.” Luke’s eyes flickered away, thinking of his own arrogance. With less than a week of training with Master Yoda, he had thought himself a master. He scoffed.

 

Rey shook her head. “No, you didn’t fail. He failed you. You offered him everything and he turned away from the light.” She met his eyes with a determination that he hadn’t seen before, the determination of a young woman who spent her life relying on herself and her abilities. “I won’t fail you.” She turned and headed up the mountain, back to the hut, prepared to show him for as long as it took.


	16. I killed Kylo Ren.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Force bond re-inmaginings.
> 
> (I know these chapters have been short, but I'm sick and trying to get to the good stuff and post for you all without repeating the movie too much.)

It was nearly dark by the time she got to the flat rock courtyard, and she felt the bond stirring to life again. She sighed. “I’d rather not do this now.”

 

“Yeah, me too.” His voice was slightly bored and a bit sarcastic, a tone she hadn’t heard from him before.

 

Rey felt her face crease, eyebrows coming together. He felt, further away somehow. She breathed, shaking her head as she started talking. “Why did you hate your famil-” As she turned, she felt her words stutter in her chest as she saw him. He was shirtless, and her body betrayed her; heart pounding, eyes going wide, hot tingles racing under her skin. “Do you have something, a cowl or something you could put on?”

 

He only raised an eyebrow, not saying anything as he puttered around whatever room he was in.

 

When it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything and wasn’t going to put anything on, she rolled her eyes and continued. “Why did you hate your family, give me an honest answer.” Rey hated that her voice shook and tears hovered in her eyes. “You had a father who loved you, a mother who gave a damn about you… An uncle who tried to help you and train you.”

 

He didn’t shrug, but, his tone was as dismissive as if he had. “I didn’t hate them.”

 

“Then why did you join the darkside?”

 

He turned, seeming moving closer to her with a chuckle that wasn’t humor. “That’s a long conversation. One better suited to being in the same room.”

 

Rey scowled, tears spilling down her cheeks as she thought of all he had thrown away, only to regain again. “Why did you betray your family? I don’t understand.”

 

“No?” Now that she knew he was Kylo Ren, it was easy to see the darkness in him, the almost cruel tilt of his expression. ”Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

 

She gasped, hurt shooting through her, shaking her head. “They didn’t!”

 

“They did. And you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest betrayal.” He shook his head, tossing the cloth he had been wiping his hands on. “Despite that, you look for them everywhere. In Han solo, now in Skywalker.”

 

Rey felt herself shudder, hating that he could see that, but he kept going.

 

“Did he tell you what happened that night?”

 

“Yes.”

 

He smirked, his tone knowing. “No. He sensed my power, as he senses yours, and he feared it. He betrayed me first, Rey.”

 

Images came through the bond and she felt them as much as saw them. She was Ben and Ben was her; she could feel how the night had been cool and the ground had been hard, sleep edging the memories. Saw Luke standing over herself, over Ben, a glowing green lightsaber in his hands. Saw Skywalker raise it to swing, then  _ felt _ Ben’s fear, felt the Force react and suddenly cool metal of the blue saber in her palms, rising to strike back.

 

“I ah…” She knew without asking, the same way she knew what had happened that night, that ben had never told anyone else why he had turned to the dark. Not even his parents.

 

“I became Kylo Ren, but I’m not that man anymore. I killed him.” Ben shrugged, muscles playing across his chest and shoulders with the movement. “Let the past die, Rey. Kill it if you have to. Kylo Ren, your parents… None of it matters.”

 

The bond flickered, and with a breath, he was gone. And she was filled with fury.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ben.”

 

He lifted his head from the holopad he was looking at where the voice was coming from. Rey sat, cold, wet, and shivering under a blanket. “Rey, what-”

 

“Ben, I-” She shook her head and started a new sentence, “I can’t stay here. Luke, he has been lying to me…” She looked up, meeting his eyes with such a lost and forlorn expression I don’t know what to do.”

 

He nodded, shifting to face her, setting aside the maps he had been looking at. “What do you  _ want  _ to do?”

 

She shivered and everything in him wanted to wrap her in his arms. “I can’t go back to Leia without Luke, how could I explain. I can’t go back to Jakku, I can’t live like that again, not after everything... And the First Order will be hunting me now.” Her face was broken, not crying but broken nonetheless. “I have nowhere to go.”

 

“Of course you could go back to the resistance.” He chuckled. Rey could be so oblivious, too used to relying on herself. “I think my mother likes you more than she likes me, Rey.” Her head shot up in surprise. He cocked his head with a self mocking twitch to his expression.

 

“But…” He hesitated, standing and moving closer to her, close enough to reach out and touch her. “I’d rather you came with me. You don’t have to be alone anymore, Starshine.”

 

She looked up at him, and for a moment he thought she would yell at him for the pet name. But instead, she stood. “Neither do you.” It was agonizingly slow, but then, the soft chill of her calloused fingers touched his. “I’m coming, Ben.”

 

Then, Luke’s voice filtered through the bond, distant and echoing through their private connection, and the hut blew apart.

 

Ben was forcibly disconnected from her and he felt cold sweats slide down his spine. What if Luke was attacking Rey as he had attacked Ben that night. In an instant, he was bolting through the Falcon, adrenaline and the Force sending his body rocketing up the mountain faster than he thought possible, legs pumping hard.

 

But he should have known his girl didn’t need any help. He nearly fell over in relief when he saw Rey standing over Luke, her hand outstretched to offer him the lightsaber. But Luke looked away, refusing to take it, and his eyes landed on Ben.

 

He came up behind Rey, there was no doubt she knew he was there between how loudly he was breathing and the feel of his Force signature, and she didn’t even flinch when he slung his arm over her shoulder, hips cocked out at an angle.

 

Luke gaped at him, struggling to lift his torso form the ground. “Ben…”

 

“Don’t even try it, Jedi.” Ben smirked., tugging Rey against his side and planting a soft kiss on her hair, before both of them turned away.

 

An hour later Chewie, Ben, and Rey left the island. Without Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall, HELP! I'm going way too fucking sad on the next chapter and I do not want to end on a sad note! I do not want to add the #angst tag either...


	17. I know...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut and apologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is the wrong fandom for this, but you have to go see Black Panther. At first I was kinda mad that Panther was getting a movie before Widow, but now I am slightly less cranky. T'Challa and his villain are cool and stuff, lots of sexy man chests, but DAMN there are a lot of ladies kicking ass and taking names and being smart as hell. Talk about representing the ladies, holy-moly it was amazing. Yeah.
> 
> On to Star Wars: Chevalier is pronounced shuh-val-yey in my universe. To hear it, google or youtube the French pronunciation.

  
  
  


With a few instructions to Chewie, Ben took Rey by the hand and led her to the captain’s quarters. His, and he hoped hers, now. He palmed the door controls and looked down at her. “I’m sorry.” Knowing it was up to her, he squeezed her hand and let go before he stepped inside, turning to look back at where she stood just outside the doorway. Waiting.

 

After a moment she smirked. “I know.” With a push, she shoved him back into the room, following as the door slid shut, her mouth lifting to his.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ben was sitting back against the wall at the head of the bed, naked, his cock pressed between his stomach and Rey’s back as she leaned into him. In his lap, also naked, legs spread and head thrown back, she whimpered as his fingers played between her legs.

 

And he liked to play. Stroking the crease where her thighs met her crotch until she whined for more. Circling her clit as she sighed and squirmed, his other hand cupping her breast as his mouth sucked at her neck. Fingers dipping into her hot core, but only the tiniest bit, teasing her. Whispering apologies, affections, and all the dirty things he was going to do to her.

 

He slipped a finger deep, groaning at how tight and hot and wet she was. “Starshine, you are so. Kriffing. Perfect.” He punctuated his words with slow, deep thrusts of his hand, and her body pressed and arched against him. Kissing down the line of her throat to her shoulder, he nudged her legs wider, his other hand sliding down to grip her hip and tip her forward. “Lean forward.”

 

Rey gasped, hands shooting out to catch herself, fingers sinking into the soft bedding. Ben’s skin was hot against hers, his hands firm and strong as he moved her where he wanted her. Lifting her like she weighed nothing, he rubbed between her legs, then lowered her body once the head of his cock was in position. She sucked in a breath, her back curving as his thick shaft pushed up into her body, and whimpered when his broad palm smoothed over her spine and pushed it back down.

 

“You can take it… relax for me.” Ben whispered, his breath making his words shudder as she sank over his length. She bit her lip trying to relax and as her body accepted him in a clenching slide, his hips bucked, his chest heaving as if he had been running, and he rumbled in approval. “Good girl.”

 

With a tangle of limbs and awkward coordination, Rey leaned back against Ben again, both of them rocking slowly, softly thrusting against each other with panting breaths. The angle made his shaft slide perfectly against the soft spot inside her and despite the gentle movements, Rey was quickly climbing her pleasure. “Ben…”

 

He nodded, rubbing his forehead on her shoulder as his arm wrapped around her tiny waist. “I love you, Rey.” She gasped and he kicked his hips up before she could respond. “You don’t believe me yet, but I do.” His fingers dipped between her legs again, sliding the pad of a finger side to side over her clit. “I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you. Proving how sorry I am.”

 

Her head fell back, her mouth trying to respond, but every time she started to speak, he would thrust his hips or flick his fingers, until she was strung tight in his arms. “I was wrong. And I’m sure I will be wrong again, but-” He grunted, his words cut off, her tight passage milking him and making his body clench tight before he grit his teeth against his own orgasm. “But I will never abandon you again, Starshine. I swear.”

 

Her body quivered, hovering on the precipice of orgasm, and he thrust in time with his fingers. “Come on, Starshine, give me your pleasure.” As if his words unlocked something, she keened, and came with a squealing gush of pleasure and wetness that soaked over them. He followed, his eyes closing as he rubbed his face against her back, spurting into her with gasping and growling words of praise.

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Rey refused to run. So they fought the First Order, sneaking in and killing Snoke by a mix of luck and more luck, narrowly avoiding Teyigh Ren and General Hux, re-joining the Resistance and escaping from Crait. But they didn’t belong with the resistance. Leia prompted them to restart the Jedi now that Luke had passed. Ben had training and Rey had stolen the Jedi texts, after all.

 

But, no matter what they personally thought of him, Luke had the right of it. The Jedi and Sith, the very idea of light and dark being in conflict, needed to end. So Ben showed Rey the maps he had been looking through, and talked of balance.

 

“Forget the Light and the Dark. What if we started training people to use the Force in balance? Not just kids, anyone who wants to learn. Not just the Force, we could teach other things too.”

 

Rey shook her head, looking at the planet that he showed her. “What are you talking about? What would that even look like?”

 

Ben sat on the bed behind her, propping his chin on her shoulder as his body curled around hers. “Without light, darkness will swallow everything it can, snuffing out creativity and love. Without dark, light will overwhelm, killing and burning. Teach people that they need both. Too much of anything is poison.”

 

“Yeah.” She laughed, rolling her eyes as she repeated herself. “But what what would that look like?”

 

Huffing in frustration at trying to explain the complicated idea, he thought for a moment, pushing his ideas into the bond and showing her. Though they both were connected and didn’t block each other out, some thoughts needed more effort to share. “For the non-Force sensitive, you can teach kids to fix broken things, and I’ll teach them to fly. Help the ones with no family, like you were, so they can make it in the universe.”

 

Rey leaned back into his chest nodding. “And the Force sensitive?”

 

“We can teach them how to balance themselves. It’s okay to have darkness. Sometimes we need to be dark to survive. Teach them how to use the force; to protect balance, not just preserve light or spread darkness.” He nipped her neck in playful punishment for her teasing him. “We can remake the universe a little bit at a time.”

 

Turning her head, Rey nodded. “I like the sound of that, but…” She kissed his cheek. “For that to work, you have to finally tell me what made you turn away from your family and to the darkside.”

 

Ben nodded. He had been avoiding the conversation. First because they were in life or death situations, then because they were never alone, helping the Resistance plan where to go and what to do. This was the first real peace as the Falcon carried them to the other side of the Galaxy, far from the crumbling wreckage of the First Order command.

 

“Alright.”

 

Rey turned, wrapping her arms around him as they settled into a more comfortable position, and Ben started to talk slowly and haltingly. “I never hated my family. But Snoke was whispering in my mind, planting darkness, before I was even born. I’m honestly shocked that I made it to fifteen before I turned.”

 

Nuzzling his chest when he paused, Rey encouraged him with her eyes.

 

“Leia liked rules and planting roots, Han liked to fly and barely took notice of laws, let alone rules. That left me in a strange place; torn between the ground and the sky, one strict parent and one carefree. At first, going to Luke helped. He was at least consistent and stable. But, the stronger I became, the stronger Snoke’s voice was in my head.”

 

Ben rubbed his hand over the curve of Rey’s back, taking comfort in her presence. “Everything was twisted by him. I thought his words were my own thoughts. Luke coming after me in the night was the final push that confirmed everything Snoke had said.”

 

He shrugged and her head was jostled by the movement of his thick muscles. “It sounds stupid but, when I was finally with Snoke, his voice wasn’t in my head as much. He no longer needed to twist every thought and action of those around me, because he had already swayed me to the dark side. I could see more clearly when I was under his thumb than when he was trying to bring me closer. It was easier to find my way out of the darkness than it was to fight it in the first place.”

 

Rey shook her head. “It doesn’t sound stupid, Ben.” Her hand cupped his face, coaxing his faraway expression to focus on her. “It sounds difficult, and I’m so proud of you.”

 

He nuzzled her hand. “So… You will do it? We’ll start our own school?”

 

“Yes, Ben. But I think it will probably be near wherever the Resistance ends up. I don’t see your mom letting us go too far, and Finn and Poe would follow us around.”

 

“Bring them. Finn and Poe would be good teachers too.”

 

They talked long into the night, and the next morning they took their ideas to Leia and the rest of the Resistance.

 

Rey and Ben became the first Chevaliers of Balance.

 

They settled on the uninhabited planet C-53G12 in the Calantra system. They renamed it almost immediately to Kalpaloka. It was a small-ish planet, but was big enough for them, with everything they needed.

 

It reminded Rey of Takodana; loving the lush forests and plethora of water. Ben remembered how happy and wondrous she had been of that planet, despite their short time there. So they started building. Using a mix of the Force and the last of the rebel equipment, they dug underground tunnels first, while Leia used her persuasive abilities to get them more resources. It helped that the First Order was in chaos, leaders killing each other and fighting amongst themselves, and people were more willing to help the Resistance.

 

Soon, they had a base for the Resistance, and Rey and Ben turned their attention to building a small school. They were very careful about keeping the Chevalier separate from the Resistance. They didn’t want to start already bonded to the cause the way the Jedi had been, so their school was kept separate from the Rebel base, nearly on the other side of the planet, and no one but Rey and Ben knew it’s exact location.

 

Something that bothered Finn.

 

“Why won’t you let us come help?”

 

Rey had laughed. “You can’t be both, Finn. It goes against what Ben and I are trying to build.”

 

He followed her as she moved through the Base. “But, I could help you. I could you know, teach stuff, since I don’t have the Force.”

 

Rey nodded, “Yeah, Ben and I already talked about it. We would love to have you.” Finn grinned and Rey shook her head, stopping him. “But Poe would have to come too. You can’t be neutral or objective while sleeping in the Base with Poe as a Rebel; you would still be fighting the same fights as the Resistance.” They would always be allies, and always have a connection, but the Chevaliers needed to be seperate.

 

Finn shrugged. “I’ll get Poe to come too.”

 

Rey raised her eyebrows. “You think he will leave General Leia?”

 

That thought brought Finn up short. Poe had just been promoted back to Commander, and was probably going to get Colonel. He might not be willing to leave the Resistance. And if Finn thought harder about it, he knew Poe wasn’t ready to give up his fight yet. So he shook his head.

 

“It’s okay, Finn. We will still see each other. You are my first and best friend.” Rey grinned, hugging him. “You can bring us any lost souls you find, and we will come train with you. Often.”

 

And they did. Over the next three years, Finn and Poe (and the other Rebels) kept their eyes open for children in need and Force-sensitive people while rebuilding the resistance. They brought them back to Kalpaloka, sometimes even using their few credits to buy freedom for indentured children.

 

One time Rose came back with seven kids, the youngest only two and the oldest nearly 15, she had stolen from a slaver. Rey and Ben hadn’t asked any questions. They simply took the children, the toddler in Rey’s arms and another clinging to her belt, back to the Chevalier compound. By then they had almost twenty adults, and Rey made sure every child was well cared for. Rose eventually became a teacher at the compound.

 

They taught the Force to those who needed it, and sometimes those who didn’t, when children snuck in to listen and watch Ben and Rey teach. At the resistance base, Poe and Ben taught the kids to fly X-wings and stolen TIE fighters. Finn taught a class on marksmanship, which made everyone laugh until he showed off his skills. He also taught them to identify different ships and what they were for. Leia taught how to grow plants and food, reading politics to them, and Rey and Rose taught them how to repair hyper drives and selenium processors and everything in-between. 

 

Rey and Ben were married early that third year. The same year, the Resistance moved to a nearby planet, having outgrown their small base and Leia didn’t want to crowd the Chevaliers.

 

Ben whispered to Rey that Leia secretly hoped the space would let Rey and Ben give her grandchildren.

 

And they did... eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, I have zero patience for rewriting the movie scenes right now. So rather than make you wait and possible never finish this, I’m skipping over stuff. If I can get myself to do it, I'll rewrite the end of TLJ and put it in eventually, but right now my other stories are calling. I rewrote this a few times(hence the wait) because I figured you guys didn't want to end with the saddest crappiest ever-after.
> 
> And you would rather have updated original(smutty) content anyway, right?
> 
> So this is over now, but do not fret- I have two other more smutty things still 'Unavoidable' and 'Yes Master, Yes Daddy' that are slotted for updates, and I have some new stuff coming, so no worries.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, you really are the best. I hope this wasn't the worst ending ever; I know all endings suck, but I wanted to give them a happily ever after.


End file.
